By Danna Shirley ~ October 2022
I say “An Obstacle Course” because that is what it is; one step forward, two back, sidestep the enemy’s tactics, go around and come at it another way!
I've been a Christian for 42 years now. As a new Christian, the thing
that helped me grow (and blessed me) was hearing testimonies of how God worked
in His children's lives to bring them through difficult situations, trials,
etc. and into blessings, or at least to the answers that helped them
through those events in their lives.
To lay a brief foundation, my mother died in June 2021. The Trust she and
my father had originated was changed after he died. No details here other than
the fact that the Trust was now disproportionate. The inequity of the
distribution was secondary to the hurt and betrayal to one of our family
members who deserved the best and received the worst.
So why must we go through relationship/family issues that create such
problems? Why? Is it because God always has a lesson for us to learn so we
can grow and mature to be a worthy vessel used by Him? Here is one of my
favorite scriptures in times like these:
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the
Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts
us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with
the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share
abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds
through Christ." (2 Cor 1:3-5)
Do we go through these ‘trials’ so we can comfort others with the
same comfort we have received from God? Yes, but it is also to mature us
in our walk from drinking the milk of the Word to digesting the spiritual meat
of the Word.
Testimonies are what God
uses to share lessons learned, to teach others from those lessons learned, and
to help all of us who receive the message to grow in grace and knowledge of our
Lord and Savior Jesus Christ (2 Peter 3:18). What I share here is the path God
has helped me to travel from unforgiveness and all the emotions associated with
it to forgiveness and all the benefits added to my spiritual walk. God has
helped me reach my breakthrough and arrive into healing.
I would like to add here, though, when discussing forgiveness during
Bible study one week, my teacher made this statement: “We can walk in
unconditional love without having unconditional approval.” Even God gives His
unconditional love but not His unconditional approval. That’s why He works on
us to change us into His image (Rom 8:29). Amen!
I don’t want to paint a pretty picture of just one side of this issue.
Although I did not speak or have arguments with the other side concerning the
Trust, I was still not innocent in my thoughts and words. I went to my
pastor and poured out my anger and hurt and even said I had hate in my heart
over this betrayal. I told him I DID NOT want these emotions in
my spirit anymore. He let me vent and held my hand as I cried and cried. I
can’t remember all that he prayed, but it was powerful. It was like the Holy
Spirit poked a pin in my hate-filled balloon and let all the air out, the gunk,
the muck, the bitterness, the unforgiveness, etc. It was the beginning of my
healing…but not the end. I still had to walk through, day by day, time by time,
into a cleansing that only God can complete in us.
I stated the ‘offense’ would be brief but this testimony is
not. Please hang in here with me...
So, it's been 1½ years now that I've dealt with this issue. For me,
forgiveness has been a process. The point is, we can resist God's appeal or we
can allow it to enter our heart. I eventually got to the point to allow
Him to move His Spirit into my spirit.
Saturday,
October 15th ~ Satan’s last-ditch effort to continue with
this unforgiveness issue occurred when I attended a family reunion in Van Buren,
AR. Having to face the offending party just stirred up all the emotions again.
I lived through a whole week of reliving the details in my mind. Egad! Why do
we punish ourselves in this way?
Sunday,
October 23rd ~ I attended my worship service at Legacy
Church in Bartlett, TN. When I got home later, I wrote out all that happened
while it was fresh in my mind and heart:
We had a guest missionary who preached but I couldn’t tell you what it
was about. My thoughts have constantly dwelt, pondered, rehashed, revisited all
the hurts, rejection, disloyalty, etc. that has taken place over the last few
years. The family, the Trust, the betrayal…my physical heart within my chest
has been gripped with a strong vice…thoughts have continually run rampant
through my mind. Satan has had fun coming to “kill, steal, and destroy” (John 10:10) my peace, my joy, my rest.
The problem is that I’ve allowed him to wreak havoc in my heart, mind,
and spirit by constantly reviewing it all. So, the message went over my head
but the Holy Spirit was still speaking to me. Oh, He wasn’t saying how to
resolve any of it, His presence was just very strong on my heart.
After the message, an altar call was given for physical healing for a
few in the congregation. They went up and others went up and stood behind them
and prayed. In the past I would have gone up to support in prayer but I haven’t
felt like I could do that for a long while. I guess my spirit has felt very
unworthy to move in that ministry position.
As I viewed the altar, my friend Linda McDonald was praying behind those
who needed prayer. I kept watching Linda. She has been on our prayer list at
Bible study for a hereditary condition called Charcot-Marie-Tooth Disease, a
muscle weakness in her feet and legs. As I watched her, the Holy Spirit kept
urging me to go pray for her. I finally obeyed.
I took her hand off the shoulder of the man in front of her and turned
her around to me. Then the Holy Spirit was in total control. I really didn't
know ahead of time what would happen next but I hugged her so strongly. I
hope I didn’t hurt her. I prayed in her ear for her healing, I prayed and
prayed and prayed and didn’t let her go. I finally started crying and sobbing
and prayed in the Spirit. We stood there both crying until I felt the hands of
others on my back (probably on her back too). I did not realize that praying
for Linda would release ME of all my hurts and wounds of these past few
years. God knew I needed spiritual healing so He had me begin with Linda
until His Spirit poured healing and release out on my spirit as well.
I received a cleansing that morning.
It was a start!
Later, I got a phone call from my prayer partner, Carolyn, who lives in Missouri. We talk every few days and pray for our country, our families, and anything and everything that God lays on our heart.
I was crying when I answered the phone and of course, she asked what was wrong. “I’m still dealing with the last few years of betrayal,” I answered.
I asked how she was able to forgive her siblings who wrongly
accused her of an issue with her parents. She said it was a process that took a
few years but with God’s help, prayer, and obedience to the Word, she was now
at peace. Their relationship has somewhat been restored but it had to begin
with her. She said she had to reach down deep to find emotional healing from
the wounds, torment, and accusations by her siblings. She had to make the
choice to release them from the consequences of their sin; an act of her will
to be obedient to God’s command to forgive. Jesus set the example on the
cross when He said, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”
(Lk 23:34)
She continually reminded herself of Romans 12:19-21: “Dear friends,
never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the
Scriptures say, I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the LORD.
Instead, if your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them
something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on
their heads. Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.”
God gave her the grace to repent of her bitterness and she began to pray
four things for them…
“But to you who are willing to
listen, I say, LOVE your enemies! DO GOOD to those who hate you. BLESS
those who curse you. PRAY for those who hurt you.” (Luke 6:27-28 NLT)
My prayer time with Carolyn was an additional healing process for me,
but there was still more to come.
Friday, October 28th a.m. ~ my friend Connie called and asked me to read the meditation that appeared in the book, Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young. She said it was meant just for me.
Do not expect to be treated fairly in this life. People will say and do hurtful things to you, things that you don't deserve. When someone mistreats you, try to view it as an opportunity to grow in grace. See how quickly you can forgive the one who has wounded you. Don't be concerned about setting the record straight. Instead of obsessing about other people's opinions of you, keep your focus on ME. Ultimately, it is MY view of you that counts.
As you concentrate on relating to ME, remember that I have
clothed you in My righteousness and holiness. I see you attired in these
radiant garments, which I bought for you with MY blood. This
also is not fair; it is a pure gift. When others treat you unfairly, remember
that MY ways with you are much better than fair. MY ways
are Peace and Love, which I have poured out into your heart by MY Spirit.
Sarah Young gave the following scripture references to this daily
devotion:
Col 3:13 ~ "Make allowance for each other’s faults, and
forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must
forgive others."
Is 61:10 ~ "I am overwhelmed with joy in the LORD my
God! For He has dressed me with the clothing of salvation and draped
me in a robe of righteousness. I am like a bridegroom dressed for his
wedding or a bride with her jewels."
Eph 1:7-8 ~ "He is so rich in kindness and grace that He
purchased our freedom with the blood of His Son and forgave our sins. He
has showered His kindness on us, along with all wisdom and understanding."
Rom 5:5 ~ "And this hope will not lead to disappointment.
For we know how dearly God loves us, because He has given us the Holy Spirit to
fill our hearts with His love."
Friday, October 28th p.m. ~ The tipping point arrived when Carolyn and I prayed together that evening.
We prayed through our usual requests for country, family, honest elections, etc. She always begins and I end. As I was finishing my prayer, the Holy Spirit compelled me pray for my family members who have been on the other side of this issue. I asked God to bless them and do good to them. Then He reminded me of the scripture, “For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.” (Eph 6:12)
It was a very emotional time because I knew I had finally reached the
end of unforgiveness and had arrived at my destination. Hallelujah!
Like I said, it's been a process but when we surrender to God, He works everything
out for our good. If we resist, we remain in satan's camp of letting
him steal, kill, and destroy (Jn 10:10a) our peace, joy, and rest.
When we submit, we move into God's camp ~ life more abundantly above and beyond
all that we can ever, ask, think, or imagine (Jn 10:10b).
"And I am certain that God, who began the good work within [me], will continue His work until it is finally finished
on the day when Christ Jesus returns." (Philippians 1:6)
Even after reaching this peace, God continued to pour out more and more
confirmation on me:
RELATIONSHIP ~ THE PRINCIPLE OF LOVE
The Path to Murder:
1.
Grace
precedes Forgiveness. If you have a problem giving
forgiveness, then you have a problem receiving forgiveness (Mt 10:8). Once you
accept grace, you'll forgive others who don't deserve to be forgiven.
Forgiveness means release. When God forgives us, He releases us from
the punishment/judgment of our sin. When we truly forgive others, we release
them from the hurt/offense they've caused.
2. Forgiveness precedes Love. (Mt 5:43-44) Hate leads to murder. (Gen 27:41) Forgiveness leads to love. (Gen 33:1, 4) 4.
3.
Unfulfilled
Expectations precede Offenses.
(Lk 7:18-19) Jesus
will either be a stone you stumble over, or a rock you build your house
on! "As
it is written: 'Behold, I lay in Zion a stumbling stone and rock of offense,
and whoever believes on Him will not be put to shame.'" (Rom 9:33)
4. An Offense precedes Anger. (Mt 24:10) (Mark 6:2-3) Astonished means to strike someone, to expel by a blow, to drive out someone. (Lk 4:28-29)
5.
Anger
precedes Hate. (Gen 4:3-5, 8) Anger is an
emotion. Anger is not a sin but what you do with anger is a sin.
6.
Hate
precedes Murder. (Gen 37:4-5, 18) (Deut 19:11-12)
(Josh 20:5)
When you hate, you fall into a trap and you are caught in a snare. If you allow hate and anger to consume you, then your unforgiveness leads to not be forgiven by the One Who loves you.
PASSING THE PARDON TEST—FORGIVENESS
If you have an issue of unforgiveness that you
just can't let go of and if you desire to forgive but just can't get there, I
would like to make this point to help you. I've been there. I understand. You
cannot do this by your own will. You cannot! It is only
through God's help that HE gives you the will to surrender into His hands. The
key element is to release your hold on that thing through prayer and allow the
Holy Spirit to begin His great work in you, in the other party, in the
situation, etc. Nothing may change ... but the change will come in YOU.
It will be your blessing to let it go and maybe, just maybe, God will work the
rest of it out for good. If not, you've still been released (set free) from the
prison of unforgiveness.
I hesitate to believe I’ve come to a completion of this subject because
it is a “test” that we continually take and continually have to pass. If we
don’t pass it, then we fail it, and God has us take it over again and again. I
pray and ask God to keep forgiveness on the forefront of my mind and heart.
“But one whom you forgive anything, I [Paul] also forgive; for indeed what I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, I did so for your sakes in the presence of Christ, so that no advantage would be taken of us by Satan, for we are not ignorant of his schemes.” (2 Cor 2:10-11 NAS)
Basically, Paul is saying that satan takes advantage of us if we keep unforgiveness in our heart and mind. What is his advantage? By us always dwelling on the offense, stirring up hatred, etc. he keeps our thoughts away from God and His healing, forgiving power. Be not ignorant of his schemes!
Love to all, Danna Shirley dannaRshirley@gmail.com
