Sunday, December 16, 2012

CHECKBOOK ~ A DIRTY WORD

© Danna Shirley

            I was not a spendthrift, I was not extravagant, I did not squander my husband's paycheck, but I cringed every time he asked me for the balance in our checkbook.  Then a lengthy conversation would follow with me defending every purchase I made and every dollar I spent.  He couldn’t understand where all the money was going.  What was so ironic to me was that I felt he was the one doing all the frivolous spending. 
            On what, you might ask?  Well, he worked hard all week and insisted he needed a night out to unwind so every Friday was date night.  It was my responsibility to find a babysitter for our three children while he chose the restaurant.  It was a toss up what movie we would watch.  The babysitter: $8.00; the restaurant: $12.00; the movie & popcorn: $7.00 for a total of $25 every week (1986)!  It made date night an expense that I felt we couldn’t afford. 
            Finding a babysitter every week was a chore in itself because the girls quickly went from wanting to earn a little money to dating and then I would have to find another sitter.  Eating out was the only part I liked; usually Shanghai for Chinese or Cuco’s for Mexican or Aunt Jenny’s for seafood.  For the movie we would go from comedy to blood and guts; from a PG rating to an R rating depending on who won the toss.  I did reach the point of saying, “I can’t stand the gore anymore!  Please, no more R rated movies!”  He graciously agreed. 
            I know some wives would kill for a date night but after a year or so of seeing our checkbook balance dwindle, it was not special to me any more.  I remember praying and praying, “Oh, God, release me from the responsibility of this checkbook!”  I knew if my husband asked me one more time for the balance, I was going to throw the book at him!  Well, that day finally arrived but instead of me throwing the checkbook at him, he had the audacity to ask me to give it up—he would pay the bills and handle the finances from now on and give me an allowance!
            “WHAT!!!” I protested!  “A–a–a–n  ALLOW—ANCE!” I stuttered.  I could hardly find the words to voice my disapproval.  All I could see was that I was being cut off from the checkbook.  After twenty minutes or so of conflict resolution, God spoke to me in His still, small voice, as only He can, “Isn't this what you prayed for!  Why are you upset?”  With these words hitting my spirit I calmed down, smiled, and sat back amused.  Yes, this was what I had prayed for--to be released from having to defend myself about the finances.
            Unfortunately, my husband's idea of an allowance wasn’t at all the amount that I needed to run the household.  He was only considering food in the budget while I knew our needs stretched far beyond that.  I asked him to accompany me to the grocery store for food and Wal-Mart for other incidentals.  I made sure that his wants and needs were included on my list.  Of course, on these particular trips, I needed simply everything . . . milk, bread, flour, sugar, tea, coffee, cereal, meat, vegetables, fruit, etc., etc. and at Wal-Mart I needed simply everything . . . deodorant, razor blades, shaving cream, shampoo, toothpaste, toilet paper, etc., etc.  I wanted this shopping spree to give him a good education of just how much I really spent on a weekly basis.
            With all the input now available, he sat down with calculator in hand to work miracles with the checkbook.  After handling the finances for only one month, he announced that date night was being cancelled until further notice . . . we couldn’t afford it! 
            Eventually the kids grew up,  my husband got raises and I went to work,  the bills got paid and we had some breathing room with the checkbook, Friday night out was reinstated, and date night became very special to us!

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