THE TOILET

Danna Shirley

We have it made in America!

When I hear complaints against the United States I want to shout, “Try another country and see how you like it.” I have lived in other countries, not just visited for a few weeks, and you return to the states with a greater appreciation of our freedoms . . . and our conveniences!

One convenience in particular that stands out are the lavatories in Japan. They are clean enough BUT very uncomfortable. We had the privilege of renting a house in Kawatana that had a western toilet; however, public restrooms were economical and therefore not modernized.

To describe their toilets will take some doing so I’ll try not to embarrass myself. The Japanese also use a porcelain bowl attached to a pipe that runs from the bowl to the tank. That is what you hang onto for dear life . . . the pipe! 

“Why?” So you won’t fall into the bowl. “Why would you fall into the bowl?” you might ask. Because the bowl sits flat on the floor and your feet straddle the bowl. Now if you don’t want to “miss your shoot,” you squat over the bowl and here is where the “hanging on for dear life” comes in! I told you it was embarrassing.

The Japanese are also very fascinated with English words. They like to use them even though they may not use them correctly. For instance, one sign I saw in a women’s restroom instructed, “Don’t miss your shoot!!  To keep clean.” 

Don’t get me wrong. I enjoyed my five years in Japan, but I was happy when told it was time to go home . . . and experience the reverse culture shock of returning to my own country.