Sunday, November 30, 2014

MEETING THE IN-LAWS (1968)

by Danna Shirley

            I did not meet my husband’s parents who were from Alabama before we married nor did I know that he hadn’t mentioned a girlfriend to them, much less a fiancé, until he sprung the news that he was bringing home a California bride for Christmas. A quick trip to Reno took care of the nuptials. It was December 19, 1968 and I was 20 ½ years old. A few days later we were on a plane headed for his hometown. 
            Scheduling problems gave us a layover in New Orleans where we spent a nice evening in the French Quarter and a meal at Pat O’Brien’s. I remember the “entertainment” asking if there were any newlyweds in the audience. 
            “Yes,” I answered thinking that would be the end of the matter.
            He asked, “How long?”
            I held up two fingers.
            He said, “Two months?”
            I shook my head.
            “Two weeks?”
            I shook my head.
            “Two days???!!!”
            I nodded.
            He responded with, “It’s nice to see you up and around so quickly!” which brought gales of laughter in the room. I could have sunk into the floor. The next morning we continued our trip to Montgomery. 
            I knew Ron was the oldest of four boys but he hadn’t told me much about his parents. I didn’t know if I should call them Mom and Dad or the more formal, Mary and Kline. He told them we would be arriving sometime Sunday so his dad met every plane coming in that day until we finally touched down. I assumed I would be able to comb my hair and put on some lipstick in the airport but as we departed the plane and were walking though the gate, Ron announced, “There’s my dad!” 
            Before I had time to think about how I would greet him, Kline was in front of me. I stuck out my hand to shake his and said, “It’s nice to meet you.” He responded likewise. As Ron made small talk on the ride home, I felt like I had a very awkward beginning with my new father-in-law. When we pulled into the yard, Ron’s mother and three younger brothers ran out of the house and into my arms; Kenneth was 15, Jackie was 12, and Wayne was 9. It seemed I had passed the test and was welcomed into the family. Little did I know there was a bigger test waiting for me?
            Three days later the whole family was invited to Christmas dinner. The whole family numbered about sixty people and consisted of aunts, uncles, cousins and paternal grandparents, Daddy Jack and MawMaw. I met them all my first week in the family because they all wanted to see this California girl who had won Ronald’s heart. I was on display as we sat on the couch by the front door. Ron never coached me or gave me any indication of how I should act with his family. Each made their way inside and over to me for introductions. Then they would move around the room and into the kitchen to get MawMaw’s “say-so” before they made any judgment. I didn’t know this at the time but I had already won her blessing by offering to help in the kitchen. She told Aunt Marie, “Well, he done a good job.” I don’t know what the verdict would have been had I stayed out of the kitchen but I guess I passed the test.
            My accent, I’m sure, was a topic of conversation. Wayne was fascinated the most as he would sit for hours and just listen to me talk. The feeling was mutual, however, for his southern drawl and pronunciation fascinated me, too, especially using the word “own” for “on”…like “on the table.”
            Two of Ron’s cousins, Sherry and Sandra, also told me at a family reunion years later that they were impressed with my go-go boots and mini-skirt. I didn’t think I was all that fashionable; in fact, I thought I was a little square by California standards, but I must have been “hip” for Montgomery, Alabama. 
            With our visit over and Ron and I saying our good-byes, Kline confessed that he was very disappointed when I shook his hand at the airport instead of hugging his neck. I told him he took me by surprise but I would take care of that right now and I reached over and gave him a big hug. I was the first daughter-in-law and I gave them their first granddaughter as well. 
            Ron and I had many cultural obstacles to overcome. He operated under southern conservative roots and I was a liberal Yankee. I couldn’t understand his way of thinking and he sure couldn’t understand mine. Eventually I came to my senses, though, and am now a conservative Republican.
            We almost didn’t make it through those early years…but that’s another story…  

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