Thursday, April 21, 2016

A WIDOW'S ADVICE TO YOUNG WIVES Chapter 2

© Danna Shirley

Happily married . . . ? ? ?

Maybe you have not made the commitment to stay married to your husband for a lifetime or perhaps you have an escape clause that can be used at any time. If so, then my advice is probably not something you wish to hear or would ever intend to follow. No, this advice comes too late for me but I feel compelled to share it with you so that you might avoid some of my missteps.

Although my husband, Ron, and I were ‘happily’ married, there were often times when raised voices were heard throughout the house.  There were plenty of tears shed along the way (mine), there were welcome sabbaticals from each other (his), and somewhere in there was a five month separation with no reconciliation in mind.

I am thankful that God helped us over the bumps and through the woods because eventually the end was better than the beginning. Yes, we did arrive at our destination—we truly did become happily married.

Ron died at the young age of fifty-six. He always told me he would go first, and I always said I wouldn’t let him go without me . . . but he did.   I learned death doesn't have a timetable.

Ron was a person of strong resolve. When he decided to quit drinking, he quit! When he decided to quit smoking, he quit! His tenacity got in my way more than once.

Although a high school dropout, Ron was well-read and well-educated.  When high school didn’t hold his interest any longer, he attended a trade school for one year and then joined the Navy. Seeing his potential, the Navy paid for his college education at Ole Miss, and he graduated with an Engineering Degree four years later. I could ask him anything and he always knew the answer.

While house-hunting during one of our many military moves, I asked him, “Honey, if we bought this house for $36,000 at 3.7% interest, (wow, that was a long time ago) what would our monthly payment be?” I could see his mental calculator at work.  Seconds later, he had the answer. 

“Honey, will you show me how to work my new digital camera?” I hated trying to figure out the latest technical gadgets since it could be obsolete in twenty minutes. He would simply read the directions and walk me through it step by step.

“Honey, what does r-e-n-a-s-c-e-n-t mean?” I asked while he drove.  “Showing renewed vigor,” he answered. He always knew the answer.

“Honey, how much are we going to get back this year?” I asked as he sat at our computer every April 15th with papers strewn about him.  Now it takes all of thirty minutes, or less, for a CPA to do my taxes using the figures I've provided. 

When the computer age was just thrusting its nose under the tent flap, I was in need of a new typewriter. Ron said it was time we got a home computer.

“No, I don’t want a home computer. I just want a nice electric typewriter with a correct-o-ribbon!”

“No, trust me. We’re getting a PC and I’ll show you how to use it one feature at a time.”

Although Ron had to bring me kicking and screaming into the computer age, I’m so glad he did. He held my hand through cut and paste, save and retrieve, highlight and delete. Because he saw the future clearly, I could use the skills he’d taught me at:  
Vancleave United Methodist Church (MS)
Ocean Springs Fire Department (MS) and
Bartlett Senior Center (TN).

How does anyone live today without a computer?

I miss my husband! I trusted him. He accepted me where I was and encouraged me to go beyond what I thought I could do. He read the fine print and I safely signed my name next to his. I trusted him!

LIFE TO CONSIDER . . .
It is my desire to have a happy marriage and live with a contented husband.  My marriage is for life; therefore I will consider . . .

Do I actively and verbally show appreciation to my husband?  How?

List ways you can acknowledge your husband’s efforts even though he may misinterpret your reaction to a situation.

What can I do to correct any problems that I may have created?

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