Thursday, April 21, 2016

A WIDOW'S ADVICE TO YOUNG WIVES Chapter 3

© Danna Shirley

Respect your differences . . .

Eventually we learned to accept the fact that we had different upbringings. Ron was the oldest of four boys (responsible) and I was the youngest of three girls (spoiled). He said, “Yes, sir” and I said, “Yeah.” He said, “Y'all” and I said, “You guys.”  Thank goodness he had shore duty our first year of marriage so we could get a lot of our clashes out of the way.    

Ron was stationed at Treasure Island near San Francisco and I worked in Berkeley but we lived in Oakland. We would sometimes get together with my friends on a weekend. He was always reserved around new people—watching, listening. They thought they were talking over his head when he didn’t join in the conversation. When he finally did speak, he blew everyone out of the water. Most people have a preconceived idea of what Southerners are like, just as I had had, but Ron didn’t fit that mold—very few Southerners do.

Along with our different cultures, I learned to respect our different genders. I launched into my marriage thinking that Ron would be just like my dad, who was always laid back and unruffled in a household with four vacillating females (his wife and three daughters).

Ron was a different story. If he’d let me rule the roost, I would have lost the very thing that attracted him to me . . . his confidence and conviction. I’m so glad he stood his ground. Respect for each other begins at home and the one who has control over that respect is you.

I received the following letter a few days after his funeral . . .


A few days later, I received the below letter:

Ron’s boss, Bill Musa, had this to say at his funeral (edited) . . .

The last few days have been tragic. I spoke to Danna Friday about wanting to say something here so I went through Ron’s personnel file, which was about a foot high with all kinds of papers and commendations. Wherever Ron went was total excellence. He’s been the backbone of any operation. He is the most mild-tempered, even-tempered person I’ve ever known. Good friend. Outstanding employee.

In the company he was held in the highest regard; anywhere throughout the company, at the President level down, even up to the Admirals, including the Japanese Navy, when he spent time there.

His achievements have been very high. He kept a lot of these things to himself. As far as Computer Sciences Corporation (CSC), he started out as Principal Engineer, then Senior Principal Engineer, from there the highest technical position of Principal Computer Scientist, which is at the Director level or one level below the Vice President. These achievements are something to be proud of but Ron didn’t want me to let anyone know when his last promotion happened. That’s the kind of a guy Ron was.

He has left a tremendous hole in the operation world-wide in the Aegis program—both in our ships and other ships from other nations.

I would say that everyone, as far as a goal for work or achievements, would be to look up and say, “If I could just get half of Ron’s passion and work ethic.”

Ron was a man. He had authority in his world (Navy). He had the respect of his peers. I am so proud of him. Oh, my man, I love him so.


LIFE TO CONSIDER . . .
It is my desire to have a happy marriage and live with a contented husband.  My marriage is for life; therefore I will consider . . .

How does God view my husband's role in our family? My role?

Proverbs 5:18,18:22, and 31:10-31

Ecclesiastes 9:9

Jeremiah 32:39

Matthew 19:4-6

1 Corinthians 7:3-4

Ephesians 5:21-33

Hebrew 13:4

1 Peter 3:1, 7

Do I respect my husband in our home?  with our children?  in his employment?  in our community?

What can I say or do this week to show respect for my husband?

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