Thursday, April 21, 2016

A WIDOW'S ADVICE TO YOUNG WIVES Chapter 7

© Danna Shirley

The finances . . .

I was neither a spendthrift nor extravagant. I did not squander Ron’s paycheck. I would cringe, however, when he would ask for the balance in our checkbook. A lengthy conversation would follow with me defending every purchase I made and every dollar I spent. Ron couldn’t understand where all the money was going.

What was so ironic to me is I felt that he was the culprit doing all the frivolous spending. On what, you might ask? Well, he worked hard all week and insisted that he needed a night out to unwind so every Friday was date night. 

I know some wives would be delirious over a date night but after a year or so of watching our checkbook balance dwindle paying for a sitter, a meal, popcorn and a movie every week, it was not special to me anymore. I remember praying, “Oh, God, please release me from this checkbook. P-l-e-a-s-e!” I just knew if Ron asked me one more time for the balance, I was going to throw it at him!

Well, the day finally arrived, but instead of throwing the checkbook at him, he had the audacity to ask me to give it up—he would pay the bills from now on and give me an allowance!

“WHAT!!!” I protested! “An AL-LOW-ANCE!” I could hardly find the words—I was being cut off from the checkbook! After twenty minutes or so of heated conflict resolution, God spoke to me in that still, small voice as only He can, “Isn’t this what you prayed for? Why are you upset?”

With these words ringing in my spirit I calmly smiled and sat back amused. Yes, this was exactly what I had prayed for, to be released from having to defend myself over the finances.

Unfortunately, Ron’s idea of an allowance wasn’t at all the amount that I needed to run the household. He was only considering food in the budget while I knew our needs stretched far beyond that. So I asked him to go with me to shop for food and to Wal-Mart for the other incidentals. I made sure that his wants and needs were included on my list.

Of course, on these particular trips, I needed simply everything . . .  milk, bread, flour, sugar, tea, coffee, cereal, meat, fruit, vegetables, etc., etc. and at Wal-Mart I needed simply everything . . . shampoo, deodorant, razor blades, shaving cream, toothpaste, toilet paper, etc., etc. I wanted this shopping trip to give him a genuine, factual education of just how much was needed to run a household.

With all the input now available, Ron sat down with calculator in hand to work miracles with the checkbook. After handling the finances for only one month, he announced that date night was being cancelled until further notice. We couldn’t afford it! 

Eventually the kids grew up, Ron got raises and I went to work, the bills got paid and we had some breathing room with our expenses. Friday night out was reinstated and date night became very special to us!

What a wonderful blessing it would be to have date night once again. It is lonely eating by myself and even worse to be in a dark theater and watch couples sitting together all around me.

LIFE TO CONSIDER . . .
It is my desire to have a happy marriage and live with a contented husband.  My marriage is for life; therefore I will consider . . .

Am I doing all I can to be a good steward of our household finances?

Do we sit down together as a couple and discuss our monthly income and expenditures? 

How can I help to improve our financial situation?

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