by Danna Rae (Goines) Shirley
My parents moved from Arkansas to California in 1946. I was born in 1948 in Richmond, California and we moved into the home my parents built in Pinole, California when I was five. I graduated from Richmond Union High School in 1966 and got a job at the Atomic Energy Commission. With this financial independence I moved into my first apartment in San Pablo, California with a roommate.
Ronald Kline Shirley was from Montgomery, Alabama and joined the Navy as a teenager. He had been to Viet Nam twice when his ship, the USS Merrick, came into dry dock in San Pablo, California for only a three-month period.
Ron rented an apartment with several other sailors across the courtyard from mine. We met and dated until he went back to Viet Nam for the third time. Before leaving, he proposed and I waited.
When he returned nine months later, we eloped to Reno, Nevada and were married on December 19, 1968. He was almost 22 and I was 20½. I had never flown on an airplane until marrying Ron. Now began my globe-trotting life by flying to Alabama to meet his family.
Our first year of marriage kept us in the Bay Area of California. I worked in Berkeley, he attended a school at Treasure Island, San Francisco, and we lived in Oakland. After his graduation from Electronics Technician (ET) school, he received orders for two years in Bermuda.
His orders changed when he was accepted into the NESEP program, which sent us back to the states after only six weeks. We lived in Perryville, Maryland while he attended Prep School for college. He was then accepted into Ole Miss in Oxford, Mississippi, where our first child, Kristen, was born (1971). We were there four years and he graduated with an Engineering Degree.
His next duty station took us to flight school in Pensacola, Florida. Unfortunately, medical reasons (cluster headaches) forced him to give up that course and he was sent to duty on the U.S.S. Constellation stationed in San Diego, California.
Our next orders were shore duty in Bremerton, Washington for one year, then back to just three months in Imperial Beach, California before receiving orders to another shore duty in Subic Bay, Philippines, where our second child, Russell, was born (1977). We were there only eight months when those same health conditions gave him a medical discharge from the Navy.
This development altered his whole career goals and squashed a Navy retirement. At this point he only had twelve years active duty. We returned to his family’s hometown of Montgomery, Alabama to re-evaluate our future. After several months of not knowing our next steps for the future, Ron decided résumés should be sent to several organizations. He received employment with Alabama Power in Demopolis, Alabama. We were just there 18 months when Ron decided to go back to school for his Master’s degree.
We returned to Montgomery, Alabama and Surprise! Surprise! our third child, Aaron, was born (1980).
WE BOTH RECEIVED JESUS AS OUR LORD AND SAVIOR
in Montgomery, Alabama in 1980!
A third pregnancy facilitated more résumés. His experience, however, was with the military and our U.S. defense programs. This sent us to Mt. Laurel, New Jersey for eight months to familiarize him with the defense program he would be working on at the Ingalls Shipyard in Pascagoula, Mississippi.
Without too much explanation, we lived in Ocean Springs, Mississippi, back to Montgomery, Alabama, return to live in Gautier, Mississippi, move to Vancleave, Mississippi, and then…
After several years of working on the Aegis Test Team at Ingalls, Ron was interviewed for groundbreaking work in Nagasaki, Japan. We were there for five years (1992-1997) before returning to the states and built our house in Vancleave, Mississippi and back to his same position at Ingalls in Pascagoula, Mississippi.
The attack on the World Trade Center in 2001 geared up the U.S.’s defense program. Ron was in the thick of preparing for our reprisal against Iraq. His work ethic, unfortunately, kept him from seeking medical help when he began to have breathing problems. He was diagnosed with pneumonia and refused to go into the hospital. He died in his sleep February 20, 2003. The U.S. attacked Iraq just one month later. I also consider Ron a casualty of 9-11.
When Ron died, Kristen was married with her first child, Emma, and lived in Memphis, Tennessee. Russell and Aaron were working in construction in Gainesville, Georgia. As a widow, I stayed in Vancleave, Mississippi alone for 16 months until Kristen said it was time to move up near her.
I bought a house in Bartlett, Tennessee and worked at the Bartlett Senior Center. I retired in 2006 because I wasn’t going to work while Kristen stayed home with her second child, Isabella, for three months maternity leave. At this time, I learned of another grandchild, Mackenzie (Aaron’s daughter), living with her mother in Vancleave.
The “crash” of 2008 brought Russell and Aaron to stay with me until the economy recovered and they could get on their feet again.
My father died in 2010 leaving my sister to care for my 90-year-old mother, as well as her husband who was suffering with Parkinson’s. In 2013 I rented my house and moved in with my sister in Napa, California to help take care of them both. After my brother-in-law passed away, my sister had knee surgery which added to my caregiving duties with my mother. By May 2015 I was burned out. I had been in Napa two years and three months. Caregiving can take a toll on you mentally and physically. My sister hired a live-in caregiver for my mother until she passed away in 2021 at the age of 101.
When I returned to Memphis, I stayed with my daughter until I bought a house in Cordova, Tennessee, where I’ve lived from October 2015 to the present, April 2022.
Even though I’ve had plenty of ups and downs, I have no regrets, which hasn’t changed the blessings I’ve had with Ron, the children, the grandchildren, and my Lord.
As I look back on my life and ponder What God Didn’t Do…
·
He didn’t leave
my parents in Arkansas to eke out a living in the south but brought them to
California for a successful and supportive life for their children.
·
He didn’t leave
me in California as a liberal Democrat (which I probably would have been) but
let me meet and marry a wonderful, intelligent Southern man.
·
He didn’t give me
roots to remain in one place for a lifetime but gave me wings to follow my
husband around the world as a Navy wife.
·
He didn’t leave
me as a lost and unsaved child but He pursued me until I GOT SAVED AND BECAME HIS CHILD AND CONFIRMED MY HEAVENLY
DESTINATION.
·
He didn’t leave
me in California to raise liberal children but gave me three wonderful children
and grandchildren to be raised as southern Republican conservatives.
·
He didn’t leave
Ron on this earth to suffer with fibromyalgia but took him home to be with Him
forever—without pain.
·
He didn’t leave
me in grief at the loss of my love but has given me a rich full life
nonetheless.
THANK YOU, LORD, FOR WHAT YOU DID DO!
