Sunday, July 15, 2012

TOAD SUCK, Arkansas

by Danna Shirley 
Image result for clipart of a riverfront saloon            When the Arkansas River was low, too low for travel, the Emma Belle would put in to dock and wait for deeper water. The passengers stayed on board for a time but the crew had been off dry land long enough so they quickly found the local tavern to wet their whistle. There were more than a few eruptions during these times for the town folk to get thoroughly disgruntled. They reported the crew would suck on the bottle ‘til they swelled up like toads. Hence the name Toad Suck.
            Now Capt. Jolley joined right along with the crew but not before he made sure the passengers were settled in for the night. And of course, he didn’t frequent the same pub. He had to maintain authority to keep discipline intact so he went a little farther uptown to a more genteel establishment . . . The Red Hot Garter.
            Capt. J. was more polished than the usual riverboat captain. He’d gone all the way to sixth grade due to his Aunt Polly’s pesterings. And it had paid off ’cause now he had his own boat and could navigate the river with the best of them. It was totally dark when the lights from inside the Garter beckoned him.
            “Hey, Cap’n,” yelled Dixie from the bar when he walked inside. “The usual?”
            He nodded and sat down in a secluded corner to wait for the show. Dixie had as much of a turnover with her ladies as he did with his crew. It was not a stable environment in either profession. But he was just here for the entertainment and nothing more.
            Then she appeared on stage. Beautiful, stately, majestic. Dixie delivered his drink and he gave her a questioning look. She shrugged and smiled with a twinkle in her eye and went back to her duties at the bar.
            Who was this lovely lady who sang like a nightingale? He looked at the marquee. It read:
Sweet Lily Delaney
Appearing Nightly ~ Limited Engagement
          Capt. J. was awestruck. He sat blurry-eyed, almost in a trance, mesmerized by this angelic creature. He had never once before thought of leaving the river but now the thoughts of settling down and standing on solid ground whirled around his head. He could do it. Yes, he would do it for this Sweet Lily.
            She finished her song and he motioned her to his table. She floated toward him, barely touching the wooden planks of the floor. Wait! Did he see a halo surrounding her beautiful golden locks? Boy, the mind can play tricks on a person.
            She seated herself across from him and he gave Dixie the high sign to bring two more drinks. They arrived and Lily swigged down the whole thing at once and slammed the empty mug on the table with a crude thud. Then she wiped the foam from her mouth with the back of her hand and smiled at him through crooked, rotten teeth. He grimaced and turned his head away. Yes, the mind can play terrible tricks, indeed.
            That’s when Capt. J. began sucking on the bottle ‘til he swelled up like a toad. His crew found him the next morning and carried him back to his beloved Emma Belle.

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