I was not a
spendthrift, I was not extravagant,
I did not squander my husband's paycheck,
but I cringed every time he asked me for the balance in our checkbook. Then a lengthy conversation would follow with
me defending every purchase I made and every dollar I spent. He couldn’t understand where all the money
was going. What was so ironic to me was
that I felt he was the one doing all the frivolous spending.
On what, you might ask?
Well, he worked hard all week and insisted he needed a night out to
unwind so every Friday was date night.
It was my responsibility to find a babysitter for our three children while
he chose the restaurant. It was a
toss up what movie we would watch.
The babysitter: $8.00; the restaurant: $12.00; the movie & popcorn:
$7.00 for a total of $25 every week (1986)! It
made date night an expense that I felt we couldn’t afford.
Finding a babysitter every week was a chore in itself because
the girls quickly went from wanting to earn a little money to dating and then I
would have to find another sitter.
Eating out was the only part I liked; usually Shanghai for Chinese or
Cuco’s for Mexican or Aunt Jenny’s for seafood.
For the movie we would go from comedy to blood and guts; from a PG
rating to an R rating depending on who won the toss. I did reach the point of saying, “I can’t
stand the gore anymore! Please, no more
R rated movies!” He graciously agreed.
I know some wives would kill for a date night but after a
year or so of seeing our checkbook balance dwindle, it was not special to me
any more. I remember praying and
praying, “Oh, God, release me from the responsibility of this checkbook!” I knew if my husband asked me one more time for the
balance, I was going to throw the book at him!
Well, that day finally arrived but instead of me throwing the checkbook
at him, he had the audacity to ask me to give it up—he would pay the bills and
handle the finances from now on and give me
an allowance!
“WHAT!!!” I protested!
“A–a–a–n ALLOW—ANCE!” I
stuttered. I could hardly find the words
to voice my disapproval. All I could see
was that I was being cut off from the checkbook. After twenty minutes or so of conflict
resolution, God spoke to me in His still, small voice, as only He can, “Isn't this what you prayed
for! Why are you upset?” With these words hitting my spirit I calmed
down, smiled, and sat back amused. Yes,
this was what I had prayed for--to be released from having to defend myself
about the finances.
Unfortunately, my husband's idea of an allowance wasn’t at all
the amount that I needed to run the household.
He was only considering food in the budget while I knew our needs
stretched far beyond that. I asked him
to accompany me to the grocery store for food and Wal-Mart for other
incidentals. I made sure that his wants
and needs were included on my list. Of
course, on these particular trips, I needed simply everything . . . milk, bread, flour, sugar, tea, coffee, cereal,
meat, vegetables, fruit, etc., etc. and at Wal-Mart I needed simply everything . . . deodorant, razor
blades, shaving cream, shampoo, toothpaste, toilet paper, etc., etc. I wanted this shopping spree to give him a good
education of just how much I really spent on a weekly basis.
With all the input now available, he sat down with
calculator in hand to work miracles with the checkbook. After handling the finances for only one
month, he announced that date night was being cancelled until further notice .
. . we couldn’t afford it!
Eventually the kids grew up, my husband got raises and I went to work, the bills got paid and we had some breathing
room with the checkbook, Friday
night out was reinstated, and date night became very special to us!
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