I wrote the following "dialogue" as I watched my brother-in-law (Jerry Belden) with Parkinsons begin to close into himself, lose his speech, and become bedridden. I tried to imagine what his thoughts must be inside his existence...what my thoughts would be if this were me.
Here I am, Lord, hidden in silence in
this body from which I can’t escape. The world moves around me but I am still.
I want to yell, “I am in here! Pay attention to me!” but they just go on about
their busy lives.
I can’t tell them what I want, what I
need. I want to cry out, “Please, get me out of this bodily coma.” They walk
all around me, they dress me, change me, feed me, and move me from side to side
and from bed to chair.
I can do nothing for myself . . . but I
am still in here, still able to think and reason. And my thinking leads me to
despair.
When will it all end? How much longer
must I exist in this life where I have no control? A week? A month? A year or
is it ten?
Oh, God, no! I am Yours. Please take me
out of this world and into the next
.
. . I am ready for Your Kingdom.
If you love me, Lord, take me home to
be with You!
Jerry died April 15, 2015
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