by Danna Shirley
I wrote the following letter to one of my firefighters when I worked for the Ocean Springs Fire Department (2004). I have not used his real name:
Justin, you asked me the other day if I was praying for you (yes, every morning on my way to work) and then the subject of church came up. I didn't want to get into a discussion there at the fire station but please allow me to address it now.
I could hear a real hurt, even anger in your words regarding the "gossip" and "backbiting" that goes on in some churches. Unfortunately, gossip and backbiting goes on in all circles of life, it's human nature...the workplace, the family, the community, and sad to say, even in the church, but would you quit going to work, family functions, or eating out and shopping? No! So why would you let satan lie to you and keep you from going to church?
As a Baptist, I'm sure you are familiar with the term being "saved" or "born again." Well, a Christian is just someone who has been saved by grace...not someone who is instantly changed to be Christ-like. After salvation, a new believer should begin by renewing their mind with the Word of God (Romans 12:1-2) and allowing God to change them.
I'm sorry you've had some bad experiences in church and I'm sure if those Christians knew what they said or did had affected you so negatively, they would repent (Mark 9:42). Please keep this in mind, though, when the Holy Spirit draws someone to the Lord and they make that first step across the line into salvation and the Kingdom of God, they are still the same person (in the flesh) they've always been. They change only when they allow God, through the conviction of the Holy Spirit, to begin to change their...
Thinking (1 Corinthians 2:16)
Reactions to situations (Ephesians 4:31-32)
Conversation (Ephesians 4:29)
Heart (Ephesians 6:6)
I've stressed the words "allow God" for a reason. Some people may have stepped over the line into salvation and just parked there. They haven't really begun their journey with God or moved any closer to Him; they haven't allowed God to make them new creations in Christ Jesus (2 Corinthians 5:17). There has to be a surrender to the conviction of the Holy Spirit and a desire to obey that conviction before any life changes are made. Unfortunately, some people, through stubbornness or ignorance, are just not willing to let God do His work in them. They've made the "fire escape" and that is as far as they want to go. Why? Because going farther might mean changing their lifestyle, their attitude, their friends, and possibly even their job.
As Christians, we have to daily crucify our flesh and our flesh tends to want to continue in sin (gossip, judgment, etc. Galatians 5:19-21), but as we grow in grace and in the knowledge of Jesus Christ (through church attendance, Bible study, prayer, etc.), we should at some point begin to produce the fruit of the Spirit, which is love joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-26). That's hard to do since we live in this world with all its problems and those problems hit us right in the face every day. However, we still need to work on being more like Christ and with God's help we do grow and mature as Christians. Eventually we see we are not the same as we used to be but we haven't arrived yet either. The journey continues throughout our lives until the day we die. Along with striving forward there are days of backsliding, but we confess our sin, repent, and press on (Philippians 3:13-15). We may take two steps forward and one back, but striving onward is worth the journey.
I've met some who think they are saved but their actions and words are far from God. Only God knows their heart, not me. It was said to me once, "Sitting in church doesn't make you a Christian any more than sitting in a garage makes you a car!" So if someone in particular who claims to be a Christian did thus and so, that doesn't mean all Christians are hypocrites. Just look at the Catholic Church right now. Are all priests child molesters? Are all Catholics guilty for what these priests have done? God and Christians get a very bad rap for a lot of things others do in the flesh.
Church is not a gathering place for saints but a hospital for sinners...for we all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). Attending church is just one of the steps we take to find the right path and stay on it. When we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior, we are born again by the Spirit. Just like when we were born physically, we had to learn to sit up, crawl, walk, etc., so also in our spirit-man there is the process of crawling, walking, and maturing through the Spirit. We can't expect a two-month-old baby to run a marathon and we shouldn't expect a baby Christian to know how to say and do everything in a godly manner. Unfortunately, there are those who have been twenty years in the faith still acting like baby Christians. They haven't allowed God to mature them in the Lord. I know this is no excuse for gossip and backbiting but it is an explanation. Our response should be to pray for them.
Everyone moves along in their walk with the Lord at their own pace. i have grown more like a tortoise over the last 22 years but I have a friend who grew like a hare. Thank God we are not to compare ourselves with others (2 Corinthians 10:12). We don't know at what level of growth someone else is and they don't know ours. That's why it is very wise to obey the scripture, "Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you." (Matthew 7:1-2) That's a scary thing...think about it.
I know this may seem like a cop-out because everyone judges, has an opinion on everything. This is just human nature. However, if we allow God to convict us when we judge another and make a heart change in ourselves, then we are truly growing and maturing in Christ. Fast or slow, it is still a process and no one reaches it until heaven.
For me, church encourages and edifies my faith. I learn more through the sermons than I do through my own reading. Fellowship with other believers and testimonies of their lives helps me realize I am not the only one going through trials and tribulations. Sharing your burden divides the burden knowing others are praying for you (Galatians 6:2). It's sad to think you are alone when you're going through a crisis. God never intended for you to be alone. He is always with you and in you.
Church gives me a different perspective as well; kind of like when "I can't see the forest for the trees," someone will share their meaning of a scripture that is completely different than what I understand and a light goes on in my head; the Holy Spirit has just illuminated it to me.
So why do we need church? . . .
1. It's a family reunion; we are brothers and sisters with Christ (Romans 8:17)
2. It's like a classroom; we learn how to be disciples of Christ (John 8:31-32)
3. It's like a memorial service; Jesus died for us so we honor Him (John 3:17)
4. It's like a victory celebration; an empty tomb declares His resurrection and His triumph over hell, death, and the grave (Luke 24:1-8)
5. It's time spent with Father God and He delights in spending time with us. He wants to reveal His plans for our life (Jeremiah 29:11-13)
6. Where two or three are gathered together in His name, He is there (Matthew 18:20)
7. He tells us not to forsake gathering together in His name (Hebrews 10:25)
8. We are all part of God's family and we are to be there for one another (James 2:15-17)
My vision of church is this:
Picture a BBQ grill full of charcoal, red hot and on fire, all warm and toasty and glowing (that's church). Take one coal out of the grill and set it aside...alone. Pretty soon it begins to cool off. Now instead of red hot and glowing, it becomes cold, dark, and hard (that's me when I miss church). If you plug into your local body of believers and everyone is in fellowship with one another, practicing the faith, obeying the scriptures, etc., then we're all red hot, glowing, and on fire for God.
I was raised Methodist and I'm now Assembly of God. It doesn't matter what church you attend as long as they preach the truth of the Gospel. There are hot and cold church (alive and dead) in every denomination. So how do you find the church where God wants you planted? The key is to seek God's will, not your own! He has the perfect place He wants you to be, the church He knows will minister to your needs, will teach you about Him and His love, grace, and mercy, even where you can be used in ministry to help others as you grow into maturity. Church is give and take. We are to give back as we have also received the blessed gift from God.
I've faced the dilemma of having to find a new church several times over my Christian life. The last time was 3 1/2 years ago. Every Sunday morning I would pray, "Okay, Lord, you know I am lost without my church family. Show me today if this is the place where you want me to be." It took about eight Sundays of attending different churches to know where He wanted me to belong. Strangely enough, it was hearing a sermon at a church in Gautier (MS) that spoke to my heart to return to Vancleave Assembly of God (MS) where I had previously visited.
There are no perfect churches just as there are no perfect people (Matthew 19:17). Sometimes we just have to put on blinders and wear ear plugs and hope and pray that we're living right and as close to God as we can, knowing that His Spirit within us will guide and direct our footsteps, thoughts, words, and deeds. When we hear someone saying or doing what we know to be wrong, pray for them that God will speak to their heart and show them their sin. Why? Because if it wasn't for God's grace toward us, we could be that person. It's a scary thing when God shows us our sins and we realize how we've missed the mark ourselves.
Justin, I know you only have an opportunity to attend church a few times in a month because of your schedule but being able to attend as a family, with your wife and children, is something that you will never regret, especially when the children reach that age of displaying a little "rebellion." Believe me, I heard my own sons say, "Well, Dad doesn't go to church so why do we have to?" How do you answer that question? When you are the one taking them to church, you feel more secure in knowing what they are taught and how they are forming their own beliefs about God, Jesus, and Christianity.
I hope I haven't been too preachy, Justin, but I wanted to have my say when I had time to think about it and when God could direct my words.
God bless you and yours...
Love, Danna
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