ACTS OF KINDNESS ~ PAY THEM FORWARD

by Danna Shirley

          I was riding the shuttle from Napa, CA to the airport, something I’ve done many times before. I was going into Oakland this time, however, instead of my usual San Francisco departure. I didn’t know until I was on the bus that the shuttle would NOT drop me off in front of the Southwest ticket counter. I would have to trek quite a distance with my three rolling bags and purse; something I knew I couldn’t do since, on top of all of this, I really needed a wheelchair to get me all the way to the gate. I was returning to TN for a hip replacement and was definitely in handicap mode.

         Two of my co-travelers, Lynn and Andrea, were also Southwest passengers. They immediately chimed in to help with my luggage. So off we trooped, down and across and into the terminal. The line inside was long, long, long. I knew I couldn’t stand there for any length of time. My ability to walk was diminishing.

         We decided to return to the outside check-in and by God’s mercy a counter opened right where we were standing. The agent then directed us for wheelchair assistance and my two new friends waited with me for my ride to the gate. In our get-acquainted conversation we learned Lynn was leaving from Gate 22, Andrea from Gate 23, and I from Gate 28.

         We all had at least a two-hour wait for our departure times so we ate at Subway and exchanged phone numbers, family pictures, travel plans, etc. Lynn learned Andrea knew her son . . . small, small world! J

         After lunch they rolled me down to my gate and had someone take our picture. They parked me with a new friend, Kay, who was also in a wheelchair waiting at the pre-board area. 

God puts people across our path when we need them most and I am so grateful He brought me 
← Lynn and Andrea. 

         At this point I still had almost an hour more to wait. Kay and I were both going to Memphis via a plane change in Dallas, a plane change that only allowed a fifteen minute window between landing and boarding our next flight. We were told in Oakland that wheelchairs would be waiting for us in Dallas, but alas, no wheelchairs and we were eight minutes later than the scheduled arrival time. Kay and I were the first ones off the plane and we hustled from Gate 2 down to Gate 16.

         The board said the flight was “On Time” but the waiting area was still full of passengers as they announced a one-hour delay, fortunately I needed the restroom and something for dinner. Kay and I grabbed a sandwich at Jason’s Deli and returned to the gate area to sit in our wheelchairs. We were glad for the chance to relax and de-stress. I learned she was flying to Memphis to surprise a friend for her retirement party the next day and would be getting a taxi to her hotel from the airport. I texted my son if we could give her a ride since we were going right by her exit and of course, he said sure.

         The terminal was in chaos with several announcements of flight delays and gate changes and passengers milling around. Kay and I were where we needed to be so we didn’t pay much attention until our gate was lining up for boarding and we heard the announcement was NOT for Memphis. Kay asked the attendant and was told our flight had been moved to Gate 18, right next door.

         Oops. We hustled again and they were just beginning the pre-board. God is good even when we aren’t paying attention. Our flight was delayed a full hour and a half. As we sat on the plane, the pilot announced we would be longer than usual because of bad weather. We would be flying around the storm and would feel turbulence on the final approach.

        I have done a lot of traveling since my very first flight at age twenty-two and have prayed on takeoff and landing as a new Christian for most of those flights; however, the last twenty minutes of Flight 1228 into Memphis had me in desperate prayer as we all bounced and jerked and hung on for dear life.

        I told Kay before I left the plane that I would see her in baggage and we would give her a ride to her hotel. She smiled gratefully.

         We were originally scheduled to arrive at 10:00 p.m. but touched down about midnight. Aaron grabbed all of our luggage and we waited at the curb while he brought the car around. We deposited Kay at the Fairfield Inn and I finally sat on my loveseat in my own living room at 1:00 a.m.

         I am so grateful for the help I received and the help I was able to give.

"Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers,

for thereby some have entertained angels unawares."

(Hebrews 13:2)

Practice Random Kindness and Senseless Acts of Beauty!

(Unknown)

EMMA KATHERINE GRIGSON--National Jr Honor Society Inductee

My granddaughter, Emma Katherine Grigson, age 13, was inducted into the National Jr Honor Society on March 2, 2016 through Evangelical Christian School, Memphis, TN. The selection criteria for membership is by outstanding performance in the following areas:

Scholarship -- 92% grade point average.

Service -- voluntary contributions to the school or community with a positive, courteous, and enthusiastic spirit.

Leadership -- resourceful, good problem solver, promoter of school activities, idea-contributor, dependable, exemplifies positive attitude about life. 

Character -- upholds moral and ethical principles, honesty and reliability, courteous, respect for others, maintains a good and clean lifestyle.

Citizenship -- understands the importance of civic involvement, high regard for freedom, justice, and respect of the American form of government, demonstrates mature participation and responsibility through community involvement.

This honor, recognized throughout the nation, is both the public recognition of accomplishment and the private commitment to continued excellence on the part of the new member. 

Selection is a privilege, not a right. Students do not apply for membership; instead, they provide information to be used by the local selection committee to support their candidacy for membership. Membership is granted only to those students selected by the Faculty Council. This is not an election, nor is membership automatically conveyed simply because a student has achieved a specified level of academic performance.

Emma is the great-great-granddaughter of original enrollee, Augusta Victoria "Cassie" (Folsom) Goines (Enrollee #6672) from Dawes-Choctaw Tribe of Oklahoma; 

The great-granddaughter of Howard Eurbie and Elsie (Daugherty) Goines; 

The granddaughter of Ronald Kline and Danna Rae (Goines) Shirley, and 

The daughter of Shawn Marcus and Kristen Valera (Shirley) Grigson (also in picture). 

CONGRATULATIONS EMMA . . . Way to go!

DUMPSTER DIVING

by Danna Shirley

I would have never dreamed of dumpster diving . . . that is until I visited my sister in California and we made the rounds at all the back alleys and back entrances of large retail stores. Why? She needed boxes and pieces of cardboard.

At the time Paula did estate sales for a local attorney and when he passed along a client who wanted to liquidate a home, she used her creative resources to prepare for the settlement.

We did not actually dive into dumpsters but we did search for boxes. Lots of boxes! Boxes for throw-aways, for packing, for garbage, for donating to the local charities, for sale items, etc.

She also searched for large pieces of cardboard, preferably white, to make her signs, then plotted on a city map where to locate them for the best coverage. At 5:00 a.m. we would hit the streets with hammer and/or tape to post signs so the Friday and Saturday traffic could make their plans to come to the sale on the weekend. Her signs were not in the style of

every other sign on the corner but they stood out in the crowd.

Paula is very knowledgeable at what she does and very selective of which estates she will accept. If the family had pretty much cleaned out all they want and left only the cast-offs, it wasn’t worth her time. She had to see at least some items for profit or no one would darken the door and her commission would be zip. I helped with a few estate sales and believe me, it is work!

Paula was thorough. She either knew the value of the contents or researched it for appropriate pricing. She cleaned, polished, and displayed each one in the most favorable light.  Jewelry went into lockable cases and the checkout table was setup at the front door. All other exits were locked or blocked so shoppers had to pass by her. Unfortunately, some things were stolen but it wasn’t for her lack of trying to be the best security guard possible. She even had a “junk table” of cheap incidentals for buyers to “shoplift” if they were of that caliber. Sad this had to be done for those lacking the honesty gene. I was usually posted guard at the back of the house to watch from that location but I even had some things stolen right under my nose!

Serious and courteous shoppers would compliment her professionalism and ask for her business card. After all was said and done, the unsold items were distributed to thrift stores, and/or charities. Receipts for donations were given to the owner and the house was left broom clean. The signs were removed and put back in the dumpster . . . until the next estate sale!

God Uses Simple Things to Confound the Wise

by Danna Shirley

I was sitting in church this morning when God reminded me of a friend's husband's testimony. He had been resisting hearing from God although he sat in church with his wife every week. God finally got through to him in a most unusual way.

He was a new father changing his son's diaper. His little guy was laid out on the bed without the usual jerking movements; quiet and peaceful with his arms outstretched just staring at daddy.

The father started crying uncontrollably as God spoke to him in his spirit-man...

"I laid My Son out on the cross just as you see your son lying on the bed. 

I gave My Son just for you."

I HAVE NO GREEN THUMB

By Danna Shirley

           

            My parents both grew up on farms in Arkansas. I’ve heard their stories of hoeing cotton and plowing the fields; of hauling water to the field hands and earning pennies a day for back-breaking work.

            My dad told his dad, “When I turn 18, I’m out of here. I’ll never work a farm again!” and he never did. My dad went to Beechcraft in Wichita, Kansas and worked in an airplane factory until Pearl Harbor.

            When my mom graduated from high school, she went to Arkansas Tech for two years and got her teaching credentials. She taught in a few little country schools until after the war. Then she and dad migrated to that golden state of California and never looked back. I was born two years later.

            Now as I grew up, mom had my two sisters and me out in the front yard pulling pesky weeds but she never taught me how to grow a thing; she never taught me flowers or vegetables, or fruit trees; fertilizer, pruning, or picking.        

            I would love to have a beautiful garden like hers, the aroma of flowers in the house, and greenery decorating my home. Everything I try to baby just dies. I forget to water it or I water it too much. I HAVE NO GREEN THUMB!

I have even killed an artificial flower arrangement when trying to dust it!

So why can a wild flower push it’s little head up through a crack in a paved parking lot and I can’t keep anything alive? 

It’s just not fair.    

DEMENTIA ~ Sad but Sometimes Funny

by Danna Shirley

My mother, Elsie Mae (Daugherty) Goines, is 96, born August 19, 1919, and has been pretty healthy until recently and pretty sharp mentally—sometimes! We all thought Nana would go before Pa but Pa passed away in 2010. Then we thought she wouldn’t last much longer after losing her life-mate of 68 years, and Pa even said as much, but that was six years ago.

Then we all thought maybe God was keeping her here so she could get saved. She has refused for years to talk about Jesus to anyone although she was raised in church. That’s a mystery yet to be solved because she sticks her hand up and says, “I won’t talk religion.” So on that fateful day when she said she “loved Jesus,” we thought, “Okay, Lord, she’s ready to go home and be with You now.”                                                  

We all thought when she had a seizure in April 2015, she wouldn’t last much longer but hospice kicked her out of their program after a few months. She hardly had the strength to lift her head at first and now she walks the length of the deck twice a day with her walker.

So where is the “funny” in all of this? Well, it is sad but it’s also funny what trickles into her mind and comes out of her mouth.

Did you know my sister, Nan, stole her red oval tablecloth? No matter that Nan has a square table and her own red tablecloth, but we can’t convince Nana otherwise.

Did you know my sister, Paula, is my mother’s sister? Nana still talks to her about the good old days when they grew up together? She must be thinking of her sisters Edna and Verna.

Did you know I shut the car door on Nana’s head and all her teeth fell out? No matter that she still has all her teeth and I sure didn’t slam her head in the car door!!!

And then there’s the insistence she’s not sleeping in the room she’s always slept in and her room is a “dungeon” and “this is not my bed” and “where are my clothes” and “everyone is mean to me” and “who stole this or that or whatever” and the male caregiver is her “suiter” and “where is that Daugherty boy?” actually her grandson, David Nelson.

Immediately after the seizure, Nana’s memories were of her childhood when she was about ten years old. She talked about her parents and siblings but didn’t know or mention any of the siblings born after that age. Although Pa was the love of her life, she never mentioned him because they didn’t meet until they were teenagers.

Later, as she progressed through her memories and up to the present, there were many accusations of “why didn’t you tell me Pa had died, that Verna, Margaret, and Jeannie had died?” And her confusion goes on and on . . .

Caregiving a dementia person can be very exasperating, frustrating, and very, very stressful. You know their facts are wrong, their memories are skewed, and so you want to correct them but it does no good because they either argue with you or won’t remember it the next time anyway.

In learning about caregiving a dementia patient, we also learned how to take care of ourselves. We need much care as well, especially if we’ve been caregiving for an extended length of time. I was in this position for over two years and my sister, Paula, has been doing it for over four years now, beginning with her husband’s Parkinson’s, and now with our mother’s dementia —and still counting.

How Caregivers Can Nurture Themselves

·        Eat well-balanced meals Take a daily multivitamin. Drink 6-8 glasses of water a day.

·        Exercise daily 15 min of stretching, yoga, calisthenics, or walking. Use the stairs.

·        Go outdoors Fresh air renews the body and spirit even if only briefly. Open a window.

·        Get your zzz's Strive for 7-8 hours of consecutive sleep in a 24-hr period. Nap!

·        Treat yourself Get treatments for your own aches and pains before they turn into something serious.

·        Don't ignore your emotions Pay attention to how you feel, seek counseling, vent.

·        Take time for yourself Use relaxation or stress management methods; play soft music.

·        Read, pray, or meditate for at least 15 minutes a day Consume daily prayer books and helpful magazines like Today's Caregiver and Caring Today, or books such as Chicken Soup for the Caregiver's Soul to uplift your spirits. Seek the counsel of a spiritual leader you trust and respect.

·        Chuckle more often Laugh, reminisce, and share stories of happy times.

·        Ask for help Friends, family, religious groups may be eager to assist and are only waiting to be asked and directed. Doing everything yourself deprives others of serving you.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my mother, but after living through these “caregiving” episodes for the last few years, I have given my own children strict orders about my care:

Kristen, Russell, Aaron:

I want you to realize not only the heartache but the backache and the headache that a caregiver goes through in dealing with someone in this condition and I won’t put you through it. I want to assure you when and if I ever get to the point that I am a burden to you, I demand that you put me in a nursing home or wherever my need may be at the time, and there will be no guilt trip involved whatsoever!

If I’m in my right mind, you know I will make friends and participate in activities and have a grand old time socializing. If I am not in my right mind, then it won’t matter anyway. If being in a nursing home will send me on to be with Jesus and your Dad that much faster, then please send me on my way. I want to go to heaven—this world is not my home.

You get on with your lives and with your own families and don’t worry about me. I love you all too much to put you through the weight of caregiving.

Kristen says, "You're a witness! You heard her!” 

Russell has no comment.

Aaron says, “Where do I sign! Where do I sign!”

Oh, how I love my kids! J J J

LIFE IS LIKE A JOURNEY ON A TRAIN...

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Life is like a journey on a train...

with its stations... 

with changes of routes... 

and with accidents!   

At birth we board the train and meet our parents. We believe they will always travel with us. However, at some station in the future our parents will step down from the train and leave us to continue our journey alone.   

As time goes by other people will board the train. They will be significant in our lives—our siblings, friends, children, and even the love of our life.   

Many will step down and leave a permanent vacuum. Others will go so unnoticed that we don't realize they vacated their seats!   

This train ride will be full of joy, sorrow, fantasy, expectations, hellos, and farewells.  

Success consists of having a good relationship with all passengers, requiring that we give the best of ourselves at all times.

The mystery to everyone is that we do not know at which station we ourselves will step down from the train.

So, we must live in the best way possible by loving, forgiving, and offering the best of who we are.

It is important to do this because when the time comes for us to step down and leave our seat empty we should leave behind beautiful memories for those who will continue to travel on the train of life.

Thank you for being one of the passengers on my train and

 . . . DON’T FORGET TO ENJOY THE RIDE!