RON SHIRLEY ~ USN Letters

Letters I received when my husband, Ron Shirley, passed away from pneumonia on February 20, 2003:

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Ron’s boss, Bill Musa, had this to say at his funeral (edited) . . .

The last few days have been tragic. I spoke to Danna Friday about wanting to say something here so I went through Ron’s personnel file, which was about a foot high with all kinds of papers and commendations. Wherever Ron went was total excellence. He’s been the backbone of any operation. He is the most mild-tempered, even-tempered person I’ve ever known. Good friend. Outstanding employee.

In the company he was held in the highest regard; anywhere throughout the company, at the President level down, even up to the Admirals, including the Japanese Navy, when he spent time there.

His achievements have been very high. He kept a lot of these things to himself. As far as Computer Sciences Corporation (CSC), he started out as Principal Engineer, then Senior Principal Engineer, from there the highest technical position of Principal Computer Scientist, which is at the Director level or one level below the Vice President. These achievements are something to be proud of but Ron didn’t want me to let anyone know when his last promotion happened. That’s the kind of a guy Ron was.

He has left a tremendous hole in the operation world-wide in the Aegis program—both in our ships and other ships from other nations.

I would say that everyone, as far as a goal for work or achievements, would be to look up and say, “If I could just get half of Ron’s passion and work ethic.”

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One of Ron’s co-workers, Bill Robinson, could not get a flight out of Michigan to come to the memorial service but he sent me the following e-mail a few days later. I treasure these words of admiration about my husband . . .

 

      To put things into perspective, Ron and I had worked very near each other at the Aegis Test Team in Pascagoula for a couple of years. We were both the head-down, trying to solve problems type, so we really never had much interaction until we got swept up into the Japanese AEGIS program.

      Ron’s demeanor and attitude are what made him immediately stand out. He was pure solution without trying to promote himself or “get off easy” by spending energy politicking and benefiting from other people’s work. Sir Isaac Newton, in speaking of his own great accomplishments had said, “If I can see so far, it is because I am standing on the shoulders of giants” . . . He was speaking of intelligence giants like Ron.

      Ron just oozed with integrity. His word and motives were far beyond question.  If a man is only as good as his word, I know of no one who comes close to Ron. People would just instinctively know that Ron was a person of such caliber. On many occasions I grinned in amazement to watch people of high importance just hang on every word Ron spoke, as he gave his opinion or analysis on some

multi-million dollar, hundreds-of-people problem. Never would it be necessary to mull over Ron’s words, wondering if he was embellishing in search of the limelight. Ron was the symbol of unselfish excellence within the AEGIS world.  His motives were beyond reproach. I know of no other in such a highly competitive arena that had the same credibility.

      We spent lots of time together in the dark corners of warships. Staying out of the way, yet just waiting to be overrun with panicked managers, engineers, officers, and sailors who wanted an explanation for some major event that was unfolding in the highly complex AEGIS world . . . Mach 3 missiles flying (or not flying), guns tracking, aircraft screaming, radios and radars buzzing.  We would work 24 hours straight (Saturday, Sunday), no matter what it took to provide the answer; everyone depended on our work and we would never fail. When the panic subsided, we would go back to a dark corner, talk about our families, and our great plans for fishing. This last observation I would say is the mark of a true yet simple family man. He loved meeting the challenge of a highly technical occupation, yet family and the simple things in life are where his thoughts and heart were centered.

      While away from home, non-working hours were just as simple. Never a flashy rental car or luxury hotel; Ron would seek the simple places. Time was spent reading books about fishing or the stock market (no one was standing in line for our opinions here). When we had to get out, we would spend the day at one of those multi-movie theaters just going from movie to movie, mostly just marking time until we got home.

      On many of these adventures we suffered together; dragging luggage through airports and on/off helicopters, horrible food, horrible conditions, no sleep, no showers, cramped, cold, sick, and tired. On several occasions we put our high-powered analytical skills together to ponder our decisions to be there. We always concluded everyone was wrong about us . . . we were not intelligent men! Somehow, we always got each other through it, usually with a smile and a great sense of satisfaction. I looked up to Ron like a big brother. As men go, he was a truly great one. I will deeply miss him.

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Ron was 21 at the time of this medal.

THE LORD'S HAND OF PROTECTION...AGAIN

by Danna Shirley

I totaled my Chevy Equinox on Saturday, July 2, 2022! It had only 15,000 miles on it and I had just gotten an oil change $30 and a full tank of gas $38.

As I was turning left on a yellow light, an oncoming car was trying to beat the yellow light and hit my back passenger door with her right front fender. All my side air bags deployed. The Lord’s hand of protection was upon me. I walked away without a scratch but very shaken up.

I received the ticket because the police said the other driver had the right-of-way. I believe she was speeding to catch the yellow light and definitely not watching for she did not hit her brakes; there were no skid marks on the road nor did she turn her wheel to avoid hitting me. When the fire department arrived, my vitals were acceptable for my age and for having just been in an accident. 

I had to brake to stop from rolling backwards. Mozzie, my grand-doggie who was in the back seat, was in my lap before I could even think straight. I had been watching him for a week while his family was at Disney world and I was on my way to take him home.

            Two brothers came to my rescue to help get me out of the car. The air bags didn’t budge so they had to lift them for me to crawl out. One was named Joseph and I didn’t get the name of the other. Thank You, Lord for sending them to me. They were coming from her direction and were going to make a right turn at this intersection as I was making the left turn but waited for me to finish my turn. They didn’t see her until she hit me so she was behind them approaching the intersection trying to run the yellow light.

My son, Russell, arrived to be my support, literally and figuratively. He got everything out of my car and took pictures of the accident.

            Since I’ve been a widow for almost 20 years now, I’ve had this thought often, “Lord, I’m ready to go Home and be with You and the love of my life, Ron, and my Pa.”

After this accident I had this thought, “God, You had a good chance to take me out of this world and be with You in heaven . . . but I’m still here...without even a scratch! Why? Only God knows why and He will lead and direct my footsteps for His purposes.

This morning I watched Steve Gaines, pastor of Bellevue Baptist, touch on this scripture: “… I will add fifteen years to your life.” (Isaiah 38:5) Was this a timely message for me? In fifteen years, I’ll be 89 and my mother lived to be 101.

I accept this path I’m still walking, Lord, for as long as You will keep me here but I’m STILL ready to go Home!

AMEN!

by Danna Shirley

We all know the literal meaning of AMEN but I wanted to know what AMEN meant personally to God’s children, so I took a survey of many of my friends and family and this is what I learned:

Nils Olson (missionary to Japan): "It’s very interesting that Amen is the same in every known language on earth except for its pronunciation, as is the word “Hallelujah.” Imagine, “Hallelujah, Amen” are possibly the only two words of the original language God gave to man that were left intact after the confusion of language at the Tower of Babel! What a testimony of God’s power! Hallelujah! Amen! 

Cathy Garrott (missionary to Japan): "At the end of the Lord's Prayer, it would be like saying, 'Let it be exactly as the Father wills it to be' because of "on earth as it is in heaven." 

Cathy Waters (childhood friend): "I learned from a linguistics course long ago that Amen means an oral acceptance of the spoken truth. A modern translation might be "Amen to that, Sister" or “I believe the truth has been spoken.” The origin of the word comes from Hebrew and was then adopted into Greek, Latin, and Arabic. So the Lord's Prayer, or any prayer among the faithful, is agreed upon and accepted as being the truth. Amen!"

Laura Pavao (writing class): Amen is not a word I take lightly, but it is one I use often . . . “Here I stand” (as though I have a Bible under my hand) “I swear this to be true” or “No truer words were ever spoken.” 

Dawna Langley (my cousin): “I put the rest in Your hands.” Dawna lost her sister Tami on Oct 1st, 2015 after a heart transplant a few months earlier. Only through God’s comfort can Dawna, or any of us say, “I put the rest in Your hands.” 

Anne Campbell (my husband’s cousin): “I am finished and leaving it all up to the Lord Jesus for His mighty work to be done.” 

Linda Cleverley (friend from Ohio): "I never forget how I’m to pray and thank and glorify HIM, my Lord and my God!"

Jean Crawford (Napa Valley Baptist Church): "I lift up my praises to Him as a thank You for what He has done and the blessing He has given me. I lift up my requests for His guidance and direction in my wants but He knows better than me so I want His will to be done, not mine; I want His strength to be able to accept it."

Warren Huddleston (niece’s husband): "In the Lord's Prayer Jesus’ purpose was to teach us how to pray and in adding “Amen” He stressed the importance and power to our every prayer."

Sarah Scott-Nelson (my great-niece, age 16): "So be it, just as You have said, choose wisely.” 

Danna Shirley: “Amen” comes out of me so easily that it’s part of my everyday vocabulary. I am in agreement with God for whatever I am facing that day, in whatever situation I find myself, and whatever path on which God has me set my foot. For me, “all the promises of God in Him are YEA, and in Him AMEN, unto the glory of God by us.” (2 Cor 1:20) 

In repeating something twice the Bible is emphasizing the importance of what is being said, as in these three verses below:

“Praise be to the Lord, the God of Israel, from everlasting to everlasting. Amen and Amen.” (Psalm 41:13)

“Praise be to His glorious name forever; may the whole earth be filled with His glory. Amen and Amen.” (Psalm 72:19)

“Praise be to the Lord forever! Amen and Amen.” (Psalm 89:52)

The Balm of Gilead

 by Danna Shirley

Balm: an aromatic preparation, such as a healing ointment, applied to a wound. It is more like a liquid resin and flows from certain trees of its own accord to dissolve hardness or to clear and close up wounds.

Balm of Gilead: a rare perfume used medicinally, that was mentioned in the Hebrew Bible and named for the region of Gilead where it was produced. The expression stems from the 1611 King James Version Bible and has come to signify a universal cure.

I have found myself praying for the Balm of Gilead to flow down over people who are in pain. These hurts can be mental, emotional, physical, relational; only God knows our wounds and how to comfort them, to soothe and comfort and coat their agonizing distress with healing ointment. 

Divine Appointment-Wal Mart

 by Danna Shirley

I was at Wal Mart buying groceries and had forgotten my phone in the top basket by the handle. I didn't notice it fell out of the basket when I loaded by groceries. I drove all the way home and when I looked for my phone in my purse, I went into a panic.

I asked my son, Russ, to call my phone to see if it may have fallen somewhere in my car. Nothing! He called it a second time and a sweet young lady answered. She had found it in the parking lot and was afraid a car would drive over it.

I drove back to Wal Mart and met her to retrieve my phone. I hugged her neck and thanked her profusely. I gave her two of my "HAVE A GOD DAY" plaques and asked if I could pray for her. She was a single mother and was crying about the baby daddy who was absent from her life. I pulled her to me and prayed God's blessings upon her and for Him to meet all her needs. 

What satan had meant for evil by me losing my phone, God turned for good in that I got my phone back and was able to pray for her. 

God is so good with Divine Appointments!

GETTING OLDER ~ Delight or Fear

 by Danna Shirley

In conversation with a friend recently, the words "Delight or Fear" were spoken and I immediately saw the future of getting older.

If you're a child of God, you view getting older as a DELIGHT...for you are moving closer and closer to being in the loving arms of your Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

If you have not surrendered to God or asked Jesus into your heart, getting older may strike you with FEAR...for your destination may not be so sure to go upward as it might be to go downward.

BUT it is not too late. As long as you have breath, you can make that split second decision to become a Christian...even if in a coma, or on life support, or on your death bed. The Holy Spirit can speak and reach you in your subconscious state and you can surrender your will at that last moment of life.

BUT how much better to surrender to God before the end of life. You can have such a rich, rewarding, peaceful, joyous existence for many days, months, or years before your final destination.

HOPEFULLY that destination will be to go upward into the DELIGHT of His loving arms and not into FEAR of outer darkness for all eternity.

WHAT GOD DIDN'T DO...but did for me anyway!

 by Danna Rae (Goines) Shirley

My parents moved from Arkansas to California in 1946. I was born in 1948 in Richmond, California and we moved into the home my parents built in Pinole, California when I was five. I graduated from Richmond Union High School in 1966 and got a job at the Atomic Energy Commission. With this financial independence I moved into my first apartment in San Pablo, California with a roommate.

Ronald Kline Shirley was from Montgomery, Alabama and joined the Navy as a teenager. He had been to Viet Nam twice when his ship, the USS Merrick, came into dry dock in San Pablo, California for only a three-month period.

Ron rented an apartment with several other sailors across the courtyard from mine. We met and dated until he went back to Viet Nam for the third time. Before leaving, he proposed and I waited.

When he returned nine months later, we eloped to Reno, Nevada and were married on December 19, 1968. He was almost 22 and I was 20½. I had never flown on an airplane until marrying Ron. Now began my globe-trotting life by flying to Alabama to meet his family. 

Our first year of marriage kept us in the Bay Area of California. I worked in Berkeley, he attended a school at Treasure Island, San Francisco, and we lived in Oakland. After his graduation from Electronics Technician (ET) school, he received orders for two years in Bermuda. 

His orders changed when he was accepted into the NESEP program, which sent us back to the states after only six weeks. We lived in Perryville, Maryland while he attended Prep School for college. He was then accepted into Ole Miss in Oxford, Mississippi, where our first child, Kristen, was born (1971). We were there four years and he graduated with an Engineering Degree.

His next duty station took us to flight school in Pensacola, Florida. Unfortunately, medical reasons (cluster headaches) forced him to give up that course and he was sent to duty on the U.S.S. Constellation stationed in San Diego, California.

Our next orders were shore duty in Bremerton, Washington for one year, then back to just three months in Imperial Beach, California before receiving orders to another shore duty in Subic Bay, Philippines, where our second child, Russell, was born (1977). We were there only eight months when those same health conditions gave him a medical discharge from the Navy.

This development altered his whole career goals and squashed a Navy retirement. At this point he only had twelve years active duty. We returned to his family’s hometown of Montgomery, Alabama to re-evaluate our future. After several months of not knowing our next steps for the future, Ron decided résumés should be sent to several organizations. He received employment with Alabama Power in Demopolis, Alabama. We were just there 18 months when Ron decided to go back to school for his Master’s degree.

We returned to Montgomery, Alabama and Surprise! Surprise! our third child, Aaron, was born (1980).

WE BOTH RECEIVED JESUS AS OUR LORD AND SAVIOR

in Montgomery, Alabama in 1980!

A third pregnancy facilitated more résumés. His experience, however, was with the military and our U.S. defense programs. This sent us to Mt. Laurel, New Jersey for eight months to familiarize him with the defense program he would be working on at the Ingalls Shipyard in Pascagoula, Mississippi.

Without too much explanation, we lived in Ocean Springs, Mississippi, back to Montgomery, Alabama, return to live in Gautier, Mississippi, move to Vancleave, Mississippi, and then…

After several years of working on the Aegis Test Team at Ingalls, Ron was interviewed for groundbreaking work in Nagasaki, Japan. We were there for five years (1992-1997) before returning to the states and built our house in Vancleave, Mississippi and back to his same position at Ingalls in Pascagoula, Mississippi.

The attack on the World Trade Center in 2001 geared up the U.S.’s defense program. Ron was in the thick of preparing for our reprisal against Iraq. His work ethic, unfortunately, kept him from seeking medical help when he began to have breathing problems. He was diagnosed with pneumonia and refused to go into the hospital. He died in his sleep February 20, 2003. The U.S. attacked Iraq just one month later. I also consider Ron a casualty of 9-11.

When Ron died, Kristen was married with her first child, Emma, and lived in Memphis, Tennessee. Russell and Aaron were working in construction in Gainesville, Georgia. As a widow, I stayed in Vancleave, Mississippi alone for 16 months until Kristen said it was time to move up near her.

I bought a house in Bartlett, Tennessee and worked at the Bartlett Senior Center. I retired in 2006 because I wasn’t going to work while Kristen stayed home with her second child, Isabella, for three months maternity leave. At this time, I learned of another grandchild, Mackenzie (Aaron’s daughter), living with her mother in Vancleave.

The “crash” of 2008 brought Russell and Aaron to stay with me until the economy recovered and they could get on their feet again. 

My father died in 2010 leaving my sister to care for my 90-year-old mother, as well as her husband who was suffering with Parkinson’s. In 2013 I rented my house and moved in with my sister in Napa, California to help take care of them both. After my brother-in-law passed away, my sister had knee surgery which added to my caregiving duties with my mother. By May 2015 I was burned out. I had been in Napa two years and three months. Caregiving can take a toll on you mentally and physically. My sister hired a live-in caregiver for my mother until she passed away in 2021 at the age of 101.

When I returned to Memphis, I stayed with my daughter until I bought a house in Cordova, Tennessee, where I’ve lived from October 2015 to the present, April 2022.

Even though I’ve had plenty of ups and downs, I have no regrets, which hasn’t changed the blessings I’ve had with Ron, the children, the grandchildren, and my Lord.

As I look back on my life and ponder What God Didn’t Do…

·        He didn’t leave my parents in Arkansas to eke out a living in the south but brought them to California for a successful and supportive life for their children.

·        He didn’t leave me in California as a liberal Democrat (which I probably would have been) but let me meet and marry a wonderful, intelligent Southern man.

·        He didn’t give me roots to remain in one place for a lifetime but gave me wings to follow my husband around the world as a Navy wife.

·        He didn’t leave me as a lost and unsaved child but He pursued me until I GOT SAVED AND BECAME HIS CHILD AND CONFIRMED MY HEAVENLY DESTINATION.

·        He didn’t leave me in California to raise liberal children but gave me three wonderful children and grandchildren to be raised as southern Republican conservatives.

·        He didn’t leave Ron on this earth to suffer with fibromyalgia but took him home to be with Him forever—without pain.

·        He didn’t leave me in grief at the loss of my love but has given me a rich full life nonetheless.

 THANK YOU, LORD, FOR WHAT YOU DID DO!