Tuesday, September 12, 2017

The Lost Art of Etiquette

by Danna Shirley
Etiquette used to be taught in the home and was expected to be practiced in public. It was the proper way to behave and respond in any given situation. Sadly, etiquette has gone by the wayside and died there. My heart is saddened by how lax and lethargic we’ve become, not only as a society, but as individuals.  

The Lost Art of Parental Unity
When the parents were the head of the home, the children knew what was expected of them and knew who was in charge…and it wasn’t them. The parents taught lessons of integrity and honesty, morality and trustworthiness. Examples of television families were Father Knows Best and Make Room For Daddy, later it was Happy Days and Home Improvement. Still, the parents were respected and valued as individuals.
When did everything go topsy-turvey and programming made the children in charge and the parents portrayed as childish, ignorant, and oblivious as to what was happening in their own home. Hollywood thought they were making situation comedies but they changed a whole generation’s lifestyle and culture for the worse and for the detriment of the family today.

The Lost Art of Opening the Door
When my daughter was in college in MS, she dated a young man who would open her car door. While visiting CA, she had a date with one of her cousin’s friends. He got into the driver’s seat while she remained outside until he noticed she was waiting for him to come around and open her door. She was accustomed to being treated with respect and I, for one, was very proud that she commanded it. I wonder if that impressed the young man and helped him to change his ways. I read a comment on the web that said, Chivalry is dead. Feminism killed it. No charges were filed. Femininity is also dead. Ironically, feminism also killed it.

The Lost Art of Writing Thank-you Notes
I grew up sending thank you notes for even the smallest gift received. I taught my children to send them and my daughter is doing the same with my granddaughters. I have kept a binder of all their little thank you notes…sweet and precious. It shows respect to the giver and identifies that the gift was received and appreciated. Now, when I give a gift and don’t receive even the thought of recognition, it prompts me to never give another in the future.

The Lost Art of R.S.V.P. and Arriving on Time
As the hostess of a party, I would definitely want to know how many guests to expect in order to have enough refreshments for everyone. I would also be disappointed waiting for late arrivals before serving my guests. On the opposite side of the question, I hate to be late to a function unless I’ve had an emergency; then I would call with my apologies, easily done today with cell phones. Practice the Golden Rule.

The Lost Art of the Dinner Hour
Related imageI grew up in a household where the table was set every night with a tablecloth, plates, glasses, napkins, knives, forks, spoons, and everyone came to the table to eat and discuss the day’s events. Eventually everything changed when television was brought into our lives. Now we’ve become accustomed to eating in front of the “idiot box” or with social media at our fingertips. Re-instituting the dinner hour and eating around the table without any electronics would be a plus to bring the family back into unity and harmony.
The Lost Art of Letter Writing
Where have all the letters gone? No one writes longhand anymore. Even cursive has gone by the wayside and only printing is being taught in school. A hand-written letter has become valuable if only to preserve one’s own handwriting. Scientific research has formed a fascinating picture of exactly how old-fashioned writing can benefit our brains. 
1. You learn faster and read more quickly when you learn to write by hand.
2. You recall more and understand more deeply if you opt for a pen over a laptop.
3. You're more creative and there’s a lot less second-guessing while writing longhand.
4. Your brain will stay sharp and handwriting is a good cognitive exercise for those who are aging.
5. You'll be less distracted; writing can help calm brains made jittery by constant connectivity.

The Lost Art of Keeping a Secret
Norman Rockwell Chain of Gossip 32-Inch x 32-Inch Canvas Wall ArtGossip is a killer. It can kill reputations, relationships, self-esteem, even someone’s future. Once a person has been betrayed, it is hard to regain and restore that trust again. Being vulnerable to share one’s life is frightening and if you’ve been entrusted with a personal and emotional incident, use great wisdom and integrity in keeping that confidence. It may be your turn the next time. Practice the Golden Rule.

The Lost Art of Courtesy
Rules of kindness, courtesy, and civility always apply in all situations, even on the internet and especially in social media. Be positive. Just because you are behind a screen and seem to be anonymous and invisible does not mean you can be sarcastic and offensive. Practice the Golden Rule.
 
The Lost Art of Good Manners / Respect
1.   Stand to show respect when someone enters or leaves your home. 
2.   Be aware of others' space. Don’t cut someone off when walking in a crowd or driving in a car.
3.   Show respect to your elders. Experience leads to wisdom and wisdom should be respected.
4.   Acknowledge others entering and exiting your home. Greet them, shake hands or give a hug; don’t ignore anyone because you’re occupied on social media or watching television.
5.   Learn and remember people's names. Use it right away and pronounce it correctly.
6.   Don’t be the center of attention all the time. Give the floor to others.
7.   Politely change the subject in conversation. Learn how to interject a new topic.
8.   Don't point or stare at people. Practice the Golden Rule.
9.   Be considerate and kind to people with disabilities. Put yourself in their shoes.
10. Be a good guest. Fit into your host’s household by accepting what they offer (food, drink, etc.)
The Golden Rule was given by Jesus of Nazareth:
"So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you . . ." (Mt 7:12) 

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