Sunday, November 30, 2014

JUDY and ME

by Danna Shirley

            I first met Judy on the back pew, left side at Vancleave Assembly of God Church. She was visiting with a friend she had been dating, Jerry Goodin, who ran the sound booth which was right behind the last pew. He couldn’t sit with Judy because of his duties but she wasn’t far away. Judy also had a young lady with her named Jessica, who was in her charge. Jessica was a ward of the court and mentally challenged.             
            After the service our pastor did something completely different than his normal altar call. He told us if we had any prayer needs, each pew should gather together and pray for one another. There was only Judy, Jessica, and me in our pew. My first conversation with Judy was to ask her to pray for my sons, Russell and Aaron. God so joined us that night, spirit to spirit, that we’ve been best friends ever since. Judy and Jerry married within a few months. She was no longer sporadic but became a regular on the back pew with me. 
            Judy was a former Baptist and I was a former Methodist. She had her masters in education and I was a high school graduate. She was retired and I was still working. Our lives probably couldn’t have been more different but we loved the Lord and when God puts two people together, He knows what He’s doing.
            Judy and Jerry had only been married about three years when he was diagnosed with colon cancer. Judy assumed they had caught it in time; however, she soon learned that Jerry had been suffering with severe symptoms for quite some time. When the prognosis came back, he was already in stage four of the disease.  They had just returned from Ochsner’s Clinic in New Orleans when my husband, Ron, passed away unexpectedly. 
            A few months later, I asked Judy to get out of the house and have dinner with me. She had been with Jerry every minute and his health was weighing heavily on both of them. We went shopping and then out to dinner at Chili’s in Gulfport, MS where we did some real heart to heart talking.
Judy shared her fears with me. “I don’t know what I’ll do if Jerry doesn’t make it,” she said. “I’ll have to sell everything we own to pay the bills and then where will I go?”
            “I know where you’ll go!” I said. “You’ll come home and live with me!” I had been living alone for four months as a widow and knew what she would be facing. Two months later, June 1, 2003, Jerry passed away. Judy’s mother came down from Batesville, MS to be with her and help take care of all the associated business. I reiterated my offer for her to live with me. After all was said and done Judy didn’t want to move to Batesville and she didn’t want to live with her daughter in Lucedale so she moved in with me in August 2003. I had a large three bedroom house, my dream home, and I had been living in my bed since Ron had died.
            God brought us together when we needed each other the most. My bedroom and bath was at one end of the house and she took a bedroom and used the guest bath at the other end of the house. Our arrangement was that I went to work every day and she would cook dinner for us at night. She loved to cook and I loved to eat! She bought the groceries and paid the power bill in excess of $100. I loved working on the computer and she loved getting out in the yard. I killed plants and she nursed them back to health. Every night we would retire to my office; me sitting at my computer in one corner and she sitting at her desk in the other. After an hour or so we would turn and prop our feet up and talk or just pray for people we knew. There was never a cross word spoken or a hurt feeling between us. We were so compatible it was scary J!
            What helped us both was that I gave her a place to live and she gave me a reason to come out of my bedroom. Judy lived with me eight months until God put her feet on a different path. I stayed on the Mississippi Gulf Coast another four months and then God moved me to Bartlett, TN to be closer to my daughter.
            A friend asked me once, “Would you have moved if Judy was still living with you?” I have to believe that God’s timing was perfect—for my life and for hers. The only certainty we have is that nothing remains the same. The sooner we grasp that realization the happier we’ll be in our destiny. 

IT's A "NO BRA" DAY

by Danna Shirley

            Now having reached our mid-sixties, my sister and I have come to some philosophical conclusions. As retirees who don’t have to get up, get ready, or go to a job anymore, we are delighted when we can awaken to a “NO BRA” day, which is a day of NO appointments, NO errands, and NO visitors arriving at our door. We both rejoice when we can laze around in our flannels, our t-shirts, and our fuzzy socks. We may not even comb our hair! J

I grab a Slim Fast and sit down at the computer to play a few games of Spider Solitaire, Free Cell, or Majong Titans, which are my warm-ups for the day.

  Then I peruse my emails. Someone may send me a ”funny” and one click leads to another. You know how it goes. Two hours later I realize I should get up and do something constructive but it’s a NO BRA day—so there ya go! I can get very distracted when I’m cruisin’ the net.

Like this morning when I watched Jase and Si, and Willie, and Phil on Duck Dynasty doing their usual antics. These guys are a hoot! J  “Happy, Happy. Happy!”
                                                           
This led to a YouTube of comedian Tim Hawkins who had forgotten the scripture reference to his favorite Bible verse so he guessed at it and signed 100 autographs with Psalm 38:7. When he got home, he looked it up. It said, “Lo, I have a painful disease in my loins.” J

When I can finally tear myself away, I might sit down and watch a little television.  Maybe eat a little popcorn. Then it’s time for another game of Spider Solitaire.                                                                                      
I check my emails again and more distractions ensue until my stomach tells me it’s time for lunch. Satisfied, I might consider getting dressed but can easily talk myself out of it. Heck, the day’s half gone so why bother!

I really don’t want to bind myself in and strap myself down. I love my flannels and fuzzy socks. Unfortunately, these days don’t arrive very often but when they do, it’s a wonderful life when . . .

IT’S A NO BRA DAY!  

IT DOESN'T MATTER . . .

by Danna Shirley

When you reach my age, it doesn’t matter WHO . . . you are, a prince or a pauper. As long as you live with integrity, ethics, and a good character, you’ll be rich all your life. J

When you reach my age, it doesn’t matter WHAT . . .
I don’t remember—sometimes ignorance is bliss. J

When you reach my age, it doesn’t matter WHEN . . . I go to bed or when I get up in the morning. After working 40 years, retirement is a deserved delight. J

When you reach my age, it doesn’t matter WHERE . . .
I live because wherever I am, I’m home. I’ve lived a good life, traveled to many places, and been blessed with a wonderful family and good friends. I look now with great expectation to my final move—to my heavenly home. J

When you reach my age, it doesn’t matter WHY . . . I take a handful of pills every morning and a handful of pills every night. Just that I don’t forget to take them! J

When you reach my age, it doesn’t matter HOW . . .
often I get up at night to go to the bathroom. At least I’m not using a bedpan or diapers. J 

When you reach my age, it doesn’t matter THAT . . . I wear socks with sandals. I know it’s a fashion faux pas but as long as my feet don’t hurt . . . it really doesn’t matter. J

When you reach my age, it doesn’t matter IF . . .
I have hairy legs, no one sees them anyway. But when I do finally pull out the razor, oh, the hassle to bend and reach every nook and cranny . . . and to stop the bleeding!  J

Saturday, November 29, 2014

I WANT A MACHO MAN

by Danna Shirley

          It said Sam on the name tag but I couldn’t determine if Sam was a Samuel or a Samantha? I was the third in line at the Customer Service counter in Wal-Mart. Now I’ve seen plenty of “Wal-Martians” online and all could be considered as wearing Halloween costumes; men dressed like women, skimpy clothing that shows too much, purple hair, tattoos, piercing in the oddest places. But this was October 26th and I couldn’t tell about Sam.
          As the line moved forward, I noticed more; taller than the customer being waited on, shoulder-length hair, purple eye shadow and black eyeliner, a black lace camisole under the traditional blue polo shirt, and slight breast bumps. Then a move from behind the counter revealed black flats with a bow on the toe.
The line moved again to reveal long painted nails with beautifully manicured cuticles. I still was questioning if this was Sam or Samantha. No good clue was adequate enough to reveal the mystery.
          Now it was my turn. Sam was probably six feet tall. Not unusual for teens today, boys or girls. I saw a faint mustache above the upper lip but I have one of those myself. Then the mouth opened and the voice boomed out loud and low . . . “May I help you?”
          Sam was a male! But was he dressed for Halloween or was this his every day appearance? No other employees were wearing costumes. I was baffled and a little uncomfortable not knowing how I felt about this discovery.
Sam didn’t look natural for what our society and culture dictates. I understand that Sams and Samanthas are now out of the closet but my hormones, even at age 65, still desire the tall and handsome; the courageous, patriotic, and faithful men of this world.
Where are the James Bonds, the Supermans, and Captain America? I still love to see the action movie man trounce the villains, get the girl, and come out as the hero . . . without eye liner and lipstick!
I love a macho man!

HONORED--THEN and NOW

by Danna Shirley

            My parents, Howard and Elsie (Daugherty) Goines, were born in 1919 and 1921. As children living on rural farms in Arkansas and Oklahoma during the “Great Depression” (1929-1940’s), they were not fully aware of the financial collapse of the country. Life was already hard and went on as usual; eating from the garden, gathering eggs, carrying water to the field hands, and chopping cotton beside them when they were old enough. It was understood and automatic that the children helped whenever and wherever needed; without question and without opposition. It was a necessity if the family was to survive.
            Mother remembers one of the programs instituted by President Roosevelt was to employ men to work on the roads, which some in her community did to earn a living. Others would follow the crops as harvesting time arrived by picking peaches and strawberries. 
            When Mother was a young girl, she overheard a conversation between her father and one of his field hands. He had asked for a raise from $1 a day (twelve hours) and her father answered that he would like to pay him more but he just couldn’t afford it. Her father was very disappointed but there was nothing he could do; his own children worked for free, a situation that afforded my mother limited attire. 
            Even though Mother grew up during the depression, she was fortunate to be able to take advantage of FDR’s N.Y.A. (National Youth Administration) program, which paid most of her room and board at Arkansas Tech. She was responsible for the remainder and earned it by answering the one phone present in the entire three-story women’s dorm and locating the person the caller wanted. This paid her only $10 of the required $15 for her room and board so her father paid the additional $5, which was a hardship for an Arkansas farmer. 
            Her last year at Tech she worked as a waitress in the dining hall six and a half days a week, which paid for her entire room and board. After her two years there she graduated in 1939 with a teaching credential and her first teaching job earned her $65 a month. She later received her B.A. degree from San Francisco State University when my parents moved to California in 1946.  She taught in the John Swett Unified School District for thirty years and retired in 1981.
            Daddy’s father had three hired men on his farm so when the government was looking for workers to grade the roads he hired out the hands and his team of mules. The pay was given to his men.  It was their only income.
            Daddy planted and sowed in the fields for no pay right along side his father. When the crop was harvested, however, he was paid $2 a day for twelve to fourteen hours work or ten cents an hour if less than a full day.  He was paid just like any other field hand. 
            As a teenager, Daddy told his father, “I will drive the tractor on the hottest days or coldest days of the year, but when I graduate from high school, I’m off the farm. Three days after graduation, he left for Muskogee, Oklahoma where he trained to read aircraft blueprints. 
            From Muskogee he went to the Cessna Aircraft plant in Wichita, Kansas and from Cessna to the Beechcraft Factory where he earned $.71 an hour. He was only there a short time when Pearl Harbor was bombed. My parents had planned to marry in February of 1942 but they moved up their wedding to Christmas Day, 1941 when they knew the war was at hand.
            They began to see an end to the depression with the Lend Lease program and the buildup of airplane factories and shipyards. Also the oil fields had opened up for drilling.
            I suppose the best place to be during the “Great Depression” was on a farm where families could grow their own food and raise chickens, cows, and hogs. That life was hard but the financial loss was limited because there were limited finances. The depression had a positive effect on my parents because they learned to do without the frills, to live within their means, and to save up and buy with cash instead of credit, a virtue that has stayed with them all of their lives.
            Today the family farm has all but disappeared and our food is being imported from countries which do not adhere to our own food and drug standards; an added threat on the home front.
            It is yet to be seen how this present depression/recession will shape and influence us as individuals, as families, and as a country. Maybe being forced to return to our old ways will not be such a bad thing. We can all learn a valuable lesson during these hard economic times and that is look to GOD and Get Out of Debt!

 ADDENDUM   (as told to Danna by her father in 2005 at age 84)
 HOWARD EURBIE GOINES
February 26, 1921 – March 1, 2010
Place of Birth:  Spiro, Oklahoma
             Howard, affectionately known as Pa by his family and friends, enlisted into the U.S. Army Air Corp in Little Rock, Arkansas on December 1, 1942 and served with the 3rd Bomb Division, 388th Bomb Group, 562nd Bomb Squadron. He went from Private to Tech Sgt. within six months of enlisting and was the highest ranking Non-Commissioned Officer in the 562nd Ordinance Department, responsible for the conduct of the men in the barracks, assigned all duties i.e., KP, issued passes, policed the grounds, serviced the ground equipment, etc.
            Pa went from Little Rock to Jefferson Barracks, St. Louis, Missouri, then to the Oldsmobile Plant, Lansing, Michigan for basic training where he broke the record for field stripping a 20 millimeter machine gun blindfolded (he never had to fire a gun during the war). From there he went to Salt Lake City, Utah, then Tacoma, Washington, then Wendover, Utah, then Camp Kilmer, New Jersey, and finally to Knettishall, England, where he spent most of the war.
            Pa traveled overseas on the Queen Elizabeth I. There were only half enough beds for the troops so those who weren’t working slept and vice versa. The ship docked in Edinburgh, Scotland before going on to Knettishall, England. Pa’s unit was the first to arrive in Knettishall so they had the privilege of establishing the layout of the base and setting up the Quonset huts as their living quarters.
            After arriving in Knettishall, Pa was in charge of the Ordinance Department. Although it was not considered part of the Army Air Corp, it was still attached to it. He was responsible for twenty-eight men whose duties were to load the planes with bombs and ammunition. Each plane could carry twelve 500 pound bombs. The bombs were armed by the men after being loaded; however, Pa and his Lieutenant were the only ones allowed to insert the delayed fuses due to the fact that they could not be manually disarmed but had to be dropped and detonated.
            Pa’s men loaded the planes at night and the American pilots flew during the day. The Brits loaded their planes during the day and flew at night. Pa was able to improve the standard way of loading the bombs by backing a trailer underneath the Bombay doors and using a cable hook to pull the bombs up through the opening, thereby eliminating the dolly and lift system. He always looked for a better and simpler approach to any job in order to save time and aching backs. 
            Pa also used his talents and skills in other ways. When the men’s watch crystals were damaged, he would take the Plexiglas from the damaged windshields of the B-17 bombers and shape them to fit their watches. He was able to make a little extra money this way. 
         The men were rationed five packs of cigarettes and five candy bars each week. Because Pa was not a smoker, he would ride his bike out to a local farm and trade his cigarettes and candy for fresh eggs and unpasteurized milk. Steak in those days was horsemeat.
            His mother sent him cookies and a pecan pie, once, which arrived weeks later . . . moldy and in crumbs.  Pa’s tent had a coke heater, a hotplate, and an iron skillet so he burned the mold off the pie and had a feast. He also shared it with some of the men—grudgingly. It seems no one cared that the pecan pie was moldy. 
            Pa saw a few sights of England while there. From Knettishall, it took three hours to arrive in London by train. He rode the “tube” (subway) and saw Big Ben and the Tower of London. He has also traveled across the London Bridge, both in London and in Arizona
            After VE Day (Victory in Europe), all the ground personnel who wished, were able to take a tour in one of the B-17 bombers over Holland, Belgium, and France; they also circled the Eiffel Tower and Arc de Triomphe.
            When Pa was scheduled for a month of R and R, his return trip to the States took five days. He flew home on one of his own B-17 bombers leaving from England to Wales to the Azore Islands, to Gander Field, Newfoundland, to Bradley Field, Connecticut. Everyone on the flight had to wear a parachute, which also doubled as their seat. They sat anywhere they could find a place because the planes weren’t designed for passengers, just bombs. 
            After his R and R, Pa was assigned to the South Pacific and had only made one leg of that journey when the Atomic Bomb was dropped on Japan and the war was over. He never had to leave the States again. He was discharged on July 19, 1945 at Camp Chaffee, Arkansas and returned home to his wife and daughter in Van Buren, Arkansas.
          After the war my parents migrated to the San Francisco Bay Area of California. They have lived there since 1946 and raised three daughters (Nan, Paula, Danna). Pa retired at fifty-eight to pursue his hobby—Model A Ford restoration. He has restored or helped to restore over twenty cars and is nationally known for his skill and expertise.
            Pa has always been sharp of mind, active of body, and healthy as a horse. When he was diagnosed with prostate cancer in February 2009, he slowly began to slip away from us. Pa lived to see his 89th birthday before passing away on March 1st, 2010.
          Mother will turn ninety-one on August 19th, 2010 and is still mentally sharp and healthy. Even though she is legally blind and wears two hearing aids, she can still walk, dress, eat, shower, watch TV (her favorites are Jeopardy and Wheel), and read every word of the newspaper (with a magnifying glass).
             Then and now . . . two lives who have lived and loved and survived the depression, war, taxes, and numerous changes in the American culture. Will this current generation be able to survive the same?

HEREDITY

by Danna Shirley

I am the youngest of my father’s three daughters. I am sixty and Pa will turn eighty-eight in a short eleven days. He has suffered with prostate problems for the past year and has had three surgeries in the last few months. He has lost twenty-five pounds during this illness, five of which were in the hospital during his last admission. So I flew to Napa, California to be another set of hands to help my parents.
Pa was released from the hospital on a Sunday and we went to Safeway on Monday to stock up on groceries. The checker asked where I was from, probably due to my accent, and I told him Tennessee. Then he asked if I was visiting someone. I pointed to Pa and said, “Yes, my father.” 
He looked at Pa, who was wearing a ball cap which hid his white hair, and exclaimed in surprise, “You’re kidding!” 
I knew what he meant. Pa has always looked young for his age. I was proud to be his relation and hoped I would take after him. 
I asked, “How old does he look?” 
Now you have to remember that Pa had lost twenty-five pounds, had three surgeries, received two units of blood, and had just been discharged after a week in the hospital. 
The checker’s reply, “Why, he doesn’t look much older than you!!!”   
I say the checker was just a kid who couldn’t determine age very well! Anyway, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it! 
However, it did make Pa’s day. J                                      
                                                                                                   February 15, 2009

HAMPTON HOUSE (Fiction)

by Danna Shirley

She made her way through Cranson, down the main road to Hampton Lane. It was overgrown with brush and covered in weeds that scraped against the undercarriage of the car. She crept slowly through the thicket until she reached a broken down fence that surrounded a sagging porch and a drooping roof. The house sat back in a nest of trees so thick that sunlight could barely penetrate. She looked at the old place with pity. Time and weather had done its job. The weeds and briars scratched her legs as she approached. Each step was carefully tested until she made it to the landing and opened the front door. Her heart sank.
The downstairs seemed to have been untouched by human hands for several years. A musty smell attacked her nostrils and her nose crinkled at the unpleasant odor. Dust was everywhere. The furniture was worn and faded. The hard pine floors were basically in decent condition but could use a good buffing and shine. Two big picture windows were on the front and end of the room and a large stone fireplace with a deep mantle was on the third wall. Atop it sat two oil lamps and various knick knacks and above that a picture of the Good Shepherd holding a lamb. The room was furnished with well-worn odd pieces of floral patterned couches and chairs, a thread bare rug, and house plants that were long since dead.
She crossed the living room and up the stairs to the second floor. There was a bathroom to the right and a small bedroom on the left which had been dusted and vacuumed; the bed had clean sheets and fluffy pillows. A fan was circling overhead and the scent of a vanilla candle still hung in the air. God bless the person who had been expecting her.
She continued down the hall to find two more bedrooms, one with a twin bed and an old four-drawer dresser. The other was piled high with boxes, bags, suitcases, and furniture covered with sheets. An array of pictures hung helter-skelter on the walls as if on display in an art gallery. She lifted a sheet from a tall mystery and found an antique chifferobe. This room would be fun to investigate, she thought; it might even hold some real treasures.
A wave of a memory suddenly came to her. This hallway looked familiar and so did the bathroom. The clawfoot tub was tickling her mind as she tried to hold onto the vision and then it came to her. She had taken a bath in this tub as a little girl; had played in the water with plastic dishes and squirt bottles and rubber duckies. A woman had poured warm water over her head to rinse the shampoo from her long baby-fine hair. She had pretended to be in a fort as her eyes barely peered over the edge. A lady knelt beside the tub wearing an apron with blue flowers on it. Her mind’s eye could not go above the apron. There was no face above the blue flowers.
Even though Hampton House needed a deep cleaning and lots of repairs, it still had an undeniable charm. Who knows, maybe this was just what she needed to stimulate her hum-drum life. She would begin tomorrow with Pine Sol and polish.