I AM JANE

The assignment was to write about a person in history that I would like to go back in time to meet. I chose Jane Austen because, as a writer myself, and seeing her works come to life through film, I would love to have known her personally. My research was done through the following website: https://janeausten.org/jane-austen-biobraphy.asp

I AM JANE

by Danna Shirley

I love to read. Every book I’ve read, every sentence that has passed across my mind, I find myself rewriting in a better and more descriptive way. Plots stir in my thoughts and cry to be emblazoned on paper. Being a woman born in the eighteenth century does not deter me from the desire of my heart and that is to write.
Father’s love of learning and teaching filled our home with an extensive library. He encouraged me to pursue my creative side and supplied paper and writing tools. Reading spilled into my heart and writing overflowed the banks of my soul. With my brothers and one sister, Cassandra, the eight of us loved acting out existing plays and improvisations. I admit that’s when the heartthrob of writing really took root. I filled notebook after notebook with stories and poems. I realized then I had a novel inside me begging to be born. My early attempts were abandoned until I completed a work entitled Elinor and Marianne, which later became Sense and Sensibility. 

Not yet twenty, I found love circling in my heart for Tom Lefroy, a neighbor’s nephew, but his family planned his life without me and kept us apart. Alas, if I cannot have my own romance, then I shall surely write one for myself. And that’s just what I did. My first draft of Pride and Prejudice was completed in 1799.

Shortly thereafter my father retired and moved us from the only home I’d ever known. I was twenty-seven and considered a spinster, but here in Bath, I became reacquainted with a childhood friend. Mr. Harris Bigg-Wither, considering the practicality of his situation, proposed; and I, considering the sensibility of my situation, agreed to marry him. He was to inherit a sizable amount of real estate and was well off. His one negative, in my estimation, was my total indifference to him and lack of love or even fond affection. I contemplated the convenience of being provided for; however, within one day’s time, I revoked my acceptance. I could not, in good conscience, marry for money, prestige, or security but only for love.

Sadly, love was not knocking on my door and in 1805 we lost father very unexpectedly. My heart for writing had stilled and although my brothers had made good lives for themselves, mother, Cassandra, and I were left constantly moving from place to place renting out a portion of our home for income. My precious brother, Edward, gathered us under his roof and in 1809 we moved into a little cottage near him.

With my life now fully settled into a sense of security and sanctuary, my heart began to stir again bringing words and stories to the forefront. I quickly proceeded to revise previous attempts, one, of which, had been submitted for publication in 1794. Lady Susan was never published and when I approached the publisher to retrieve the copyright, he demanded I return the ten pounds which he had originally paid. Even though I was rejuvenated in my personal life, so to speak, I did not have the funds, and so Lady Susan remained idle sitting on the shelf of the shrewd Mr. Crosby.

Disappointment did not deter me and writings poured forth. My faithful brother, Henry, doubled as my literary agent and approached another London publisher, Thomas Egerton, with the manuscript for Sense and Sensibility. His agreement to publish brought my work to the public with favorable reviews and in 1811 financial success was finally brought back to my family.

Egerton, having joined with my success, published my second work of Pride and Prejudice in 1813. It was an instant success with the public and critics alike. A second printing was ordered within the year.

Mansfield Park quickly followed in 1814. Although it was received with lukewarm reviews by the critics, my faithful followers were supportive and another monetary success was received. With this fresh enthusiasm, I moved from Mr. Egerton’s favor to a more well-known publisher, John Murray, and Emma was published in 1815.

Unfortunately, at this time, the lost affluence of my brothers, Edward, James, and Frank left the family in a precarious financial position. I was determined, now, more than ever, to continue in the pursuit of my writing for its success may hinge on supporting the whole family. Precious Henry purchased the copyright for Lady Susan from Mr. Crosby in hopes of bringing it to final publication and further income.

With my writing ever before me, I had neglected my health and in early 1816 I noticed a decline in my strength and resolve. I was determined, however, to complete my work on The Elliots, which would later become Persuasion. By April of 1817 my energy was greatly exhausted and I was confined to bed. In May I was escorted to Winchester to seek medical treatment and on July 18^th, 1817 I passed on taking my unfinished works with me. I was buried at Winchester Cathedral at age forty-one.

My precious siblings, Henry and Cassandra, took on the task of seeing my final completed works published. Henry also revealed to the world for the first time that I, Jane Austen, was the author of:

 Sense and Sensibility (1811)  

Pride and Prejudice (1813)  

Mansfield Park (1814)  

Emma (1815)  

Northanger Abbey (1818, posthumous)  

Persuasion (1818, posthumous)   

Lady Susan (1871, posthumous) 

The Lost Art of Etiquette

by Danna Shirley

Etiquette used to be taught in the home and was expected to be practiced in public. It was the proper way to behave and respond in any given situation. Sadly, etiquette has gone by the wayside and died there. My heart is saddened by how lax and lethargic we’ve become, not only as a society, but as individuals.  

The Lost Art of Parental Unity

When the parents were the head of the home, the children knew what was expected of them and knew who was in charge…and it wasn’t them. The parents taught lessons of integrity and honesty, morality and trustworthiness. Examples of television families were Father Knows Best and Make Room For Daddy, later it was Happy Days and Home Improvement. Still, the parents were respected and valued as individuals.

When did everything go topsy-turvey and programming made the children in charge and the parents portrayed as childish, ignorant, and oblivious as to what was happening in their own home. Hollywood thought they were making situation comedies but they changed a whole generation’s lifestyle and culture for the worse and for the detriment of the family today.

The Lost Art of Opening the Door

When my daughter was in college in MS, she dated a young man who would open her car door. While visiting CA, she had a date with one of her cousin’s friends. He got into the driver’s seat while she remained outside until he noticed she was waiting for him to come around and open her door. She was accustomed to being treated with respect and I, for one, was very proud that she commanded it. I wonder if that impressed the young man and helped him to change his ways. I read a comment on the web that said, Chivalry is dead. Feminism killed it. No charges were filed. Femininity is also dead. Ironically, feminism also killed it.

The Lost Art of Writing Thank-you Notes

I grew up sending thank you notes for even the smallest gift received. I taught my children to send them and my daughter is doing the same with my granddaughters. I have kept a binder of all their little thank you notes…sweet and precious. It shows respect to the giver and identifies that the gift was received and appreciated. Now, when I give a gift and don’t receive even the thought of recognition, it prompts me to never give another in the future.

The Lost Art of R.S.V.P. and Arriving on Time

As the hostess of a party, I would definitely want to know how many guests to expect in order to have enough refreshments for everyone. I would also be disappointed waiting for late arrivals before serving my guests. On the opposite side of the question, I hate to be late to a function unless I’ve had an emergency; then I would call with my apologies, easily done today with cell phones. Practice the Golden Rule.

The Lost Art of the Dinner Hour

I grew up in a household where the table was set every night with a tablecloth, plates, glasses, napkins, knives, forks, spoons, and everyone came to the table to eat and discuss the day’s events. Eventually everything changed when television was brought into our lives. Now we’ve become accustomed to eating in front of the “idiot box” or with social media at our fingertips. Re-instituting the dinner hour and eating around the table without any electronics would be a plus to bring the family back into unity and harmony.

The Lost Art of Letter Writing

https://www.inc.com/jessica-stillman/5-reasons-you-should-still-sometimes-write-longhand.html

Where have all the letters gone? No one writes longhand anymore. Even cursive has gone by the wayside and only printing is being taught in school. A hand-written letter has become valuable if only to preserve one’s own handwriting. Scientific research has formed a fascinating picture of exactly how old-fashioned writing can benefit our brains. 

1. You learn faster and read more quickly when you learn to write by hand.

2. You recall more and understand more deeply if you opt for a pen over a laptop.

3. You're more creative and there’s a lot less second-guessing while writing longhand.

4. Your brain will stay sharp and handwriting is a good cognitive exercise for those who are aging.

5. You'll be less distracted; writing can help calm brains made jittery by constant connectivity.

The Lost Art of Keeping a Secret

Gossip is a killer. It can kill reputations, relationships, self-esteem, even someone’s future. Once a person has been betrayed, it is hard to regain and restore that trust again. Being vulnerable to share one’s life is frightening and if you’ve been entrusted with a personal and emotional incident, use great wisdom and integrity in keeping that confidence. It may be your turn the next time. Practice the Golden Rule.

The Lost Art of Courtesy
Rules of kindness, courtesy, and civility always apply in all situations, even on the internet and especially in social media. Be positive. Just because you are behind a screen and seem to be anonymous and invisible does not mean you can be sarcastic and offensive. Practice the Golden Rule.

 

The Lost Art of Good Manners / Respect

http://www.parenting.com/parenting-advice/tips-tricks/10-manners-parents-should-be-teaching-their-kids-arent?page=1

1.   Stand to show respect when someone enters or leaves your home. 

2.   Be aware of others' space. Don’t cut someone off when walking in a crowd or driving in a car.

3.   Show respect to your elders. Experience leads to wisdom and wisdom should be respected.

4.   Acknowledge others entering and exiting your home. Greet them, shake hands or give a hug; don’t ignore anyone because you’re occupied on social media or watching television.

5.   Learn and remember people's names. Use it right away and pronounce it correctly.

6.   Don’t be the center of attention all the time. Give the floor to others.

7.   Politely change the subject in conversation. Learn how to interject a new topic.

8.   Don't point or stare at people. Practice the Golden Rule.

9.   Be considerate and kind to people with disabilities. Put yourself in their shoes.

10. Be a good guest. Fit into your host’s household by accepting what they offer (food, drink, etc.)

The Golden Rule was given by Jesus of Nazareth:

"So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you . . ." (Mt 7:12) 

Ben Stein's Commentary on America

I can’t find any confirmation that this was written and recited by Ben Stein on CBS Sunday Morning, but it was sent to me as being his commentary. Whoever may have written it has great insight of the condition of America today.

My confession:
I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from, that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship celebrities and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where these celebrities came from and where the America we knew went to.

In light of recent events--terrorist attacks, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found a few years ago) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK. Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school.
      
The Bible says thou shalt not kill; thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave, because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said OK.
     
Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves. Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with 'WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.'

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell.

Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. 

Funny how you can send ‘jokes’ through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing.  

Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar, and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace. 
Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us. 

Are you laughing yet? 

Don’t sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in, do something in your own little part of it.  

My Best Regards, Honestly and Respectfully, Ben Stein

ARCHAEOLOGY

by Danna Shirley
Writing assignment: choose an "ology"...
Although archeology is the study of the culture of ancient humans, it seems to also be akin to a vintage antique shop. I have considered myself an archeologist when I visit my sister, Paula, in Napa, CA. She is the quintessential archeologist of the family. Beginning at a very early age she took interest in family heirlooms and their history. She began collecting “collections” and for every birthday and Christmas she was given a book on some vintage item . . . clothing, glassware, jewelry, furniture; she scoured them like any archeologist at an ancient dig.

She has always been the “go-to” gal with questions from her family and friends on garage sale finds, estate sales, junk shops. When I’ve been with her on a “dig,” my first gravitational pull is toward the books. If I find something interesting and decide to buy it, she might say, “That’s too much; it’s not worth it.” In my estimation, if I want this book, I’ll pay the $2! She looks for the bargain to resell, having established zones in many antique shop corners. She even found a silver ring in a cigar box full of buttons, screws, nuts/bolts, etc. for only $3 at a yard sale.   

On one of my visits, I took the liberty of snapping several pictures of her vast collections and she told me that wasn’t all of them. I decided I wouldn’t “dig” around in her 5,000-square foot home, her seven double-car garages, or her two attics to uncover any more. Here’s what I found:

Strawberry glassware         Crocheted hot pads              Music boxes                 Dice

Rolling pins                        Monkeys                                Lenox China                Ivy

Roosters                              Milk glass                             Jewelry boxes              Marbles

Measuring cups                  Perfume bottles                     Cowboy boots             Cows

Weeping gold                      Buttons                                  Clothing labels            etc.

Besides these generic collections, she has taken into custody many of our family heirlooms for safekeeping, not that they would ever wind up in a yard sale or junk shop. These are special to all of us because they were hand-made by our parents and grandparents:

Trench art from WWII         Carvings         Model-A restoration         Smoking stand    

Hand-made quilts   etc.   

And personal items such as eye glasses, an early 20^th century shaving brush and strap, old letters, cameras, a 1940s radio, a family Bible, a 1940s fur coat, sun bonnet, apron, late 1800s stereoscope, desk, a mule harness made into a mirror, etc.

Paula also buys sale items she doesn’t need . . . just in case she or a friend might need it. I wanted a new box of colored markers one day and told her I was going to Wal-Mart. She asked what I needed and sent me upstairs to her attic. OMG, she had shelves full of school supplies; pencils, tablets, crayons, binders, etc. After that I learned to go shopping at Paula’s Attic and Antique Collectibles (her business card). I also go shopping at Paula’s Boutique for many of my blouses. I am her “go-to” hand-me-down gal as well. I don’t think I’ve bought any clothes in years!

Yes, I can go to my sisters on an archaeology dig and find just about anything I want. Thank you, Paula, sweet sister of mine! 😊

P.S.
My sister's house burned to the ground in October 2017 from a fire that swept down into the Napa Valley. She saved a few of the family heirlooms but nothing else. It was a like a death in the family for all of us! 😒

Dinner Around the Table

By Danna Shirley

Writing assignment for Creative Writing Class...Dinner Around the Table...

            I grew up in a time when our family cooked a meal from scratch; no frozen dinners, boxes, or packages. The table was always set with a tablecloth, plates, glasses, napkins, knives, forks, and spoons, and everyone came to the table to eat and talk about their day. There were no distractions of television or radio. Dad sat at the head of the table, my sisters and I in the middle, and mom closest to the kitchen to make a few trips back for additional milk or iced tea.

Mom was a school teacher and able to be home earlier than other working mothers. She taught my sister, Nan, how to get dinner started by peeling potatoes and making a salad. As I got older, I took over the responsibility of mashing the potatoes and making the salad. It was none of those packaged salads either. I had to wash and tear the lettuce, cut up the tomatoes, strip and slice the carrots and cucumbers, and top and slice the radishes. I hated making the salad!

            Talk around the table was how everyone’s day had gone, homework questions, and what party or dance or movie was coming up on the weekend. After dinner Dad and Mom retired to the den and we did the cleanup. Nan washed, Paula dried, and I cleared the table. As we got older, our chores changed and when we got our first dishwasher, cleanup went even faster.

            Then television entered our lives and everything changed. I wanted to watch cartoons or the Three Stooges but Dad always won out with the Huntley-Brinkley Report or Walter Cronkite. The news was boring to me. Even now I can only take it for so long and then I give up.

            As the youngest I never really learned to cook except for the most basic dishes like tuna casserole, hamburgers, chicken, pork chops; nothing fancy that required more than three ingredients or a page-long recipe of instructions. One of my first meals after marriage was fried chicken. Ron was in shock as he watched me put two layers of chicken in a skillet. I was frying it just like my mother always did. He knew it would never crisp up like that but would just sit in the grease and be soggy. After that, he did a lot of the cooking, which was just fine with me.

             When our own family began to arrive, we ate in front of the television, either watching the news for us or Scooby-Doo for the children. Eventually, it was always Scooby-Doo.

As the children got older, I tried to re-institute my childhood dinner hour by setting the table and turning off the television. It was a pleasant memory for me and I hoped I could create the same atmosphere for them. Ron supported my efforts. Unfortunately, all they wanted to do was eat fast and get back to the television, Ron included.

Now I have an empty nest. My kitchen table is piled high with sewing material and my stove barely gets used. I do a lot of fast food, microwaving, and eating on my lap in front of the television. I don’t know if this is normal for every other household or just mine. I do wish for the good ole days when families did eat dinner around the table, have conversations about their day, and just stay in touch with each other.

I don’t have to contend with the hand-held screens the kids are glued to today but I’m sure it is as much of a conflict now as television was forty years ago.

Grand Theft Auto--A True Story

by Danna Shirley

“What’s the number for the police?” she asked her caregiver angrily.

“9-1-1,” John replied.

She dialed the number and told the operator her car had been stolen and to send someone out to talk to her right away.

So, who was this woman calling the police to report a car thief? My mother!

Why was she calling the police? She thought I had stolen her car!

How did this grand theft auto fiasco begin? Well, here’s the truth of it . . .

            My sister, Paula, had asked my mom if I could drive her car while I was visiting them in Napa, California for seven weeks in March and April. After all, I would be running errands for her to the store, to doctor visits, to the pharmacy, etc.

            Mom gave the okay, so when I arrived on March 8^th, Paula and I rode over to pick up the car. Now Mom has a little dementia; or should I say a great deal of dementia so she was a little iffy that she had actually agreed to this exchange. Please understand the car sits in her garage with a dead battery most of the time because it is never driven.

It wasn’t long before she insisted I bring her car back every night. She wanted it parked in her garage. We tried to explain that if it stayed at her house, and I was at Paula’s house, there was no way I could use it. I had to keep it with me every night. What confusion! We just couldn’t convince her why this wasn’t possible. This demand went on every week or so; she insisting we bring the car back and us trying to explain why, if I was going to take her places, I needed to keep the car.

Although caregivers are with her around the clock, my mom waits until they are out of sight and then tries to get up by herself.  She is very stubborn and sneaky so my sister installed cameras in the living room and bedroom to watch her movements. It doesn’t hurt either, to know what the caregivers are doing. These cameras can be watched on our computer at any time, saving up to ten day’s worth of recordings.

I just happened to tune in the night she was asking John for the phone number to the police. He knew she was upset and adamant about her “stolen car” and he gave her the number anyway! How’s that for caregiving a 97-year-old dementia patient? All this time I’m watching the video and she is getting more and more hostile about her missing car.

Paula was running errands in town so I called her to go to Mom’s immediately, the police would be arriving soon. She walked in a few minutes before the officer. The poor man was greeted with a confused, angry woman. Paula tried to defuse the situation by telling him in a whisper, “She’s off the rails tonight. Please ignore her.”

He still had to question her for his report and asked, “Ma’am, did someone steal your car?”

“Yes,” she replied, “and I could just kill them.”

“Ma’am, do you have a weapon?”

“No, but I can get one,” she answered.

Paula just shook her head and he left without incident.

That seemed to calm her down for a few days and then we were back to the same dialogue. “I want my car back in my garage right now!”

I only had another few weeks left in California before I returned to Tennessee but Paula and I decided it wasn’t worth the upset on everyone’s part to keep the car. I returned it to her garage, walked in, and handed her the key. My parting words were, “Thank you for letting me use your car. Now you can go out there and sit in it until it rots.” That doesn’t sound very loving but after days and weeks of her verbal abuse, I had had it.

What was her reply? “Well, I didn’t mean that you couldn’t drive it.”

I threw up my hands and walked out the door. I guess I would not be a very good caregiver with a dementia patient. I don’t have the temperament or the endurance.

            Later, in June, at my mother-in-law’s 93^rd birthday party in Alabama, my comedian brother-in-law, Ken, announced to the whole Shirley family gathering, “Hide your keys, we have a car thief in our midst.” Oh, how he enjoyed telling that one on me. 😊

Being a Witness for Christ

by Danna Shirley
I wrote the following letter to one of my firefighters when I worked for the Ocean Springs Fire Department (2004). I have not used his real name:

Justin, you asked me the other day if I was praying for you (yes, every morning on my way to work) and then the subject of church came up. I didn't want to get into a discussion there at the fire station but please allow me to address it now. 

I could hear a real hurt, even anger in your words regarding the "gossip" and "backbiting" that goes on in some churches. Unfortunately, gossip and backbiting goes on in all circles of life, it's human nature...the workplace, the family, the community, and sad to say, even in the church, but would you quit going to work, family functions, or eating out and shopping? No! So why would you let satan lie to you and keep you from going to church?

As a Baptist, I'm sure you are familiar with the term being "saved" or "born again." Well, a Christian is just someone who has been saved by grace...not someone who is instantly changed to be Christ-like. After salvation, a new believer should begin by renewing their mind with the Word of God (Romans 12:1-2) and allowing God to change them.

I'm sorry you've had some bad experiences in church and I'm sure if those Christians knew what they said or did had affected you so negatively, they would repent (Mark 9:42). Please keep this in mind, though, when the Holy Spirit draws someone to the Lord and they make that first step across the line into salvation and the Kingdom of God, they are still the same person (in the flesh) they've always been. They change only when they allow God, through the conviction of the Holy Spirit, to begin to change their...
Thinking (1 Corinthians 2:16)
Reactions to situations (Ephesians 4:31-32)
Conversation (Ephesians 4:29)
Heart (Ephesians 6:6)

I've stressed the words "allow God" for a reason. Some people may have stepped over the line into salvation and just parked there. They haven't really begun their journey with God or moved any closer to Him; they haven't allowed God to make them new creations in Christ Jesus (2 Corinthians 5:17). There has to be a surrender to the conviction of the Holy Spirit and a desire to obey that conviction before any life changes are made. Unfortunately, some people, through stubbornness or ignorance, are just not willing to let God do His work in them. They've made the "fire escape" and that is as far as they want to go. Why? Because going farther might mean changing their lifestyle, their attitude, their friends, and possibly even their job.   

As Christians, we have to daily crucify our flesh and our flesh tends to want to continue in sin (gossip, judgment, etc. Galatians 5:19-21), but as we grow in grace and in the knowledge of Jesus Christ (through church attendance, Bible study, prayer, etc.), we should at some point begin to produce the fruit of the Spirit, which is love joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-26). That's hard to do since we live in this world with all its problems and those problems hit us right in the face every day. However, we still need to work on being more like Christ and with God's help we do grow and mature as Christians. Eventually we see we are not the same as we used to be but we haven't arrived yet either. The journey continues throughout our lives until the day we die. Along with striving forward there are days of backsliding, but we confess our sin, repent, and press on (Philippians 3:13-15). We may take two steps forward and one back, but striving onward is worth the journey.

I've met some who think they are saved but their actions and words are far from God. Only God knows their heart, not me. It was said to me once, "Sitting in church doesn't make you a Christian any more than sitting in a garage makes you a car!" So if someone in particular who claims to be a Christian did thus and so, that doesn't mean all Christians are hypocrites. Just look at the Catholic Church right now. Are all priests child molesters? Are all Catholics guilty for what these priests have done? God and Christians get a very bad rap for a lot of things others do in the flesh.

Church is not a gathering place for saints but a hospital for sinners...for we all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). Attending church is just one of the steps we take to find the right path and stay on it. When we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior, we are born again by the Spirit. Just like when we were born physically, we had to learn to sit up, crawl, walk, etc., so also in our spirit-man there is the process of crawling, walking, and maturing through the Spirit. We can't expect a two-month-old baby to run a marathon and we shouldn't expect a baby Christian to know how to say and do everything in a godly manner. Unfortunately, there are those who have been twenty years in the faith still acting like baby Christians. They haven't allowed God to mature them in the Lord. I know this is no excuse for gossip and backbiting but it is an explanation. Our response should be to pray for them.

Everyone moves along in their walk with the Lord at their own pace. i have grown more like a tortoise over the last 22 years but I have a friend who grew like a hare. Thank God we are not to compare ourselves with others (2 Corinthians 10:12). We don't know at what level of growth someone else is and they don't know ours. That's why it is very wise to obey the scripture, "Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you." (Matthew 7:1-2) That's a scary thing...think about it.

I know this may seem like a cop-out because everyone judges, has an opinion on everything. This is just human nature. However, if we allow God to convict us when we judge another and make a heart change in ourselves, then we are truly growing and maturing in Christ. Fast or slow, it is still a process and no one reaches it until heaven.

For me, church encourages and edifies my faith. I learn more through the sermons than I do through my own reading. Fellowship with other believers and testimonies of their lives helps me realize I am not the only one going through trials and tribulations. Sharing your burden divides the burden knowing others are praying for you (Galatians 6:2). It's sad to think you are alone when you're going through a crisis. God never intended for you to be alone. He is always with you and in you.

Church gives me a different perspective as well; kind of like when "I can't see the forest for the trees," someone will share their meaning of a scripture that is completely different than what I understand and a light goes on in my head; the Holy Spirit has just illuminated it to me. 

So why do we need church? . . .
1. It's a family reunion; we are brothers and sisters with Christ (Romans 8:17)
2. It's like a classroom; we learn how to be disciples of Christ (John 8:31-32)
3. It's like a memorial service; Jesus died for us so we honor Him (John 3:17)
4. It's like a victory celebration; an empty tomb declares His resurrection and His triumph over hell, death, and the grave (Luke 24:1-8)
5. It's time spent with Father God and He delights in spending time with us. He wants to reveal His plans for our life (Jeremiah 29:11-13)
6. Where two or three are gathered together in His name, He is there (Matthew 18:20) 
7. He tells us not to forsake gathering together in His name (Hebrews 10:25)
8. We are all part of God's family and we are to be there for one another (James 2:15-17)

My vision of church is this:
Picture a BBQ grill full of charcoal, red hot and on fire, all warm and toasty and glowing (that's church). Take one coal out of the grill and set it aside...alone. Pretty soon it begins to cool off. Now instead of red hot and glowing, it becomes cold, dark, and hard (that's me when I miss church). If you plug into your local body of believers and everyone is in fellowship with one another, practicing the faith, obeying the scriptures, etc., then we're all red hot, glowing, and on fire for God.

I was raised Methodist and I'm now Assembly of God. It doesn't matter what church you attend as long as they preach the truth of the Gospel. There are hot and cold church (alive and dead) in every denomination. So how do you find the church where God wants you planted? The key is to seek God's will, not your own! He has the perfect place He wants you to be, the church He knows will minister to your needs, will teach you about Him and His love, grace, and mercy, even where you can be used in ministry to help others as you grow into maturity. Church is give and take. We are to give back as we have also received the blessed gift from God.

I've faced the dilemma of having to find a new church several times over my Christian life. The last time was 3 1/2 years ago. Every Sunday morning I would pray, "Okay, Lord, you know I am lost without my church family. Show me today if this is the place where you want me to be." It took about eight Sundays of attending different churches to know where He wanted me to belong. Strangely enough, it was hearing a sermon at a church in Gautier (MS) that spoke to my heart to return to Vancleave Assembly of God (MS) where I had previously visited.

There are no perfect churches just as there are no perfect people (Matthew 19:17). Sometimes we just have to put on blinders and wear ear plugs and hope and pray that we're living right and as close to God as we can, knowing that His Spirit within us will guide and direct our footsteps, thoughts, words, and deeds. When we hear someone saying or doing what we know to be wrong, pray for them that God will speak to their heart and show them their sin. Why? Because if it wasn't for God's grace toward us, we could be that person. It's a scary thing when God shows us our sins and we realize how we've missed the mark ourselves.

Justin, I know you only have an opportunity to attend church a few times in a month because of your schedule but being able to attend as a family, with your wife and children, is something that you will never regret, especially when the children reach that age of displaying a little "rebellion." Believe me, I heard my own sons say, "Well, Dad doesn't go to church so why do we have to?" How do you answer that question? When you are the one taking them to church, you feel more secure in knowing what they are taught and how they are forming their own beliefs about God, Jesus, and Christianity. 

I hope I haven't been too preachy, Justin, but I wanted to have my say when I had time to think about it and when God could direct my words.

God bless you and yours...
Love, Danna