Today is February 4, 2015. I am not having a good day. Maybe if I write it down, it will help me get through this day...
You know how things kind of pile in on top of one another until you "break" or should I say "blow." Today is that day for me. Today I'm blowing my nose and wiping my tears. I think I've been okay for some years now but this year? No, this year is a different story.
December 19th: Ron and I would have celebrated our 46th anniversary...if he was still alive.
January 24th: We would have celebrated his 68th birthday...if he was still alive.
February 20th: We would have loved each other one more year...if he hadn't died twelve years ago.
March 1st: Pa would still be with us and with Nana...if he hadn't died five years ago.
Today my back hurts but I cancelled my chiropractor appointment because I am hiding out in my room crying.
Today I don't know where my sons, Russ and Aaron, are because they haven't written me. Russ' 38th birthday is February 7th and I don't even know where to mail him a birthday card.
Today I've been in CA for almost two years to help caregive family members and it's been almost one year since I've been home to TN.
Today I guess I'm really feeling the homesickness and I need to hug my daughter and granddaughters.
I need to see my second mom "Gran" (mother-in-law) because I've missed two years of Thanksgiving with the family and missed her 90th birthday party last June.
Today my mind is filled with sorrow and regret and fear of the future. Today is not a good day!
BUT today I will read my Bible and pray...I will seek God and He will comfort me. I will turn my eyes to the Lord from where my help comes.
Tomorrow will be a good day!
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